They assume you love the Windsor Family

We’re relentlessly told that the Monarchy projects a good image of the UK on a world stage.

Er… posh, stale, bloodsport loving, thick, white,  boorish, military cloned hereditary Windsor Yahs –  is that what we want the world to think of first when they think of the UK in 2015?

I know the snootyness actually appeals to some  ( “oh gee I love your Downtown Abby” ) but c’mon we don’t sentimentalise rickets, or workhouses, or other symptoms of class discrimination.

I’ve battered on about the arguments against royalty here, there and everywhere, and Republic do it better at their Winning the Argument section. But sometimes logic doesn’t make people change their minds.

What’s important, is to change perceptions, to point out that the Windsors are naff. Are ugly and uncool. Are as appealing as Nicholas Witchell’s lesbian crushing bumhole.

There will always be Peasant Crown Monkeys who gimp it up for the camera….

People like this guy – who wrote Diana and Dodi’s name on his face every day at the Diana inquest. You’ll also spot him at outside their private hospital festooned in union jacks.

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“I’ve always been a Diana fan, but last year I woke up one day and decided to paint her name on my forehead – it just felt right,”

Ok, I’m a sarcastic snidey blogger and don’t want to be cruel to this man but clearly…he has a few issues. But again and again, the uk media and (embarrassingly) the international media love these ‘umble types, and play up the idea that they’re representative of attitudes towards the Windsors.

And who else do they count as a monarchists ?

You actually. The media default assumption is we all are. If Das Feudal Circus is in town and an office worker munching on tasty Greggs sausage roll dawdles over to the kerb for a gawp, they’re hailed by the press as a royal ‘well-wisher’, who ‘welcomed’ that vulgar big Bentley into town.

Anyone staring at the bizarre freakshow family is portrayed as in thrall to the monarchy.

And every criticism is shunned and buried, no-one draws attention to disinterest…

Consider the scandalous fact that Scotland’s newly opened hospital – built entirely with public money – was opened by the queen in front a few hundred folk, some of whom were keen to see the monarchy, some of whom were just hanging out.

For unfathomable reasons the hospital was named the Queen Elizabeth University hospital Glasgow ( despite the fact that the queen doesn’t use the nhs, hasn’t been to university,  and purred with pleasure down the phone to David Cameron when Scotland shat it at the referendum. Glasgow voted yes ).

So far so tediously predictable..

Don’t let them count you as a Monarchist.

People Behave Like Freaks Around the Royal Family

One of the  regular heavy boots moments in British civic life is when sane, smart people melt in the presence of royalty.

Whether it’s Wiggo kneeling down, or PJ Harvey scurrying off to Buckingham Palace to become A Member of the British Empire, a little part of me weeps every time someone  (formerly) cool accepts a gong or tugs the forelock ( even if they claim it’s for their nan. )

It doesn’t matter what the excuse – when the call came they obediently fell to their knees for a Sir or to get letter after  their name (  EPZ – Establishment Petting Zoo – in recognition that when asked to, they opted to place themselves above the people).

But the corrupt gong-a-dong world of honours is a post for a separate time.

What is it with normal folk becoming idiots in the presence of Windsors ?

Look at this video, of the Queen’s guard, presented to us so we can sneer….

The poor man was just distracted yet he’s shoved, shouted at and ridiculed. It’s horrible boorish behaviour by some tossers in red coats under the pretence of tradition. Yeah boys, you’re all fuckin’ heroes, why don’t you bayonet the poor old guy for Her Maj ?

But even more disturbing is this kind of behaviour. Again, here’s the clip….

The poor kid gets battered in the face by a soldier – AND NOBODY HELPS HER BECAUSE THE QUEEN IS MORE IMPORTANT.

Are they not human ?

It was like the time a pageboy collapsed during the Queens Speech and nobody reacted. In fact the royal press pack swooned at her callousness.

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Of course these incidents are accidents and not directly due to the pathetic Feudal Freak Show, but nobody present reacts. What is WRONG with these people ? A kid is hurt, a wee boy faints, and their priority is to ensure that nothing disrupts their precious grovelling protocol ?

Please tweet or Facebook this. Everyday we’re foi-grassed royal pish. Fight back.