Meghan is a good argument against the Monarchy.

Meghan is utterly eclipsing the rest of the whingey Windsors.

She’s smart. She is undeniably beautiful, she is mixed race, she is a feminist, she has a natural warmth compared to the frigid awkward one note Royal Family..

yeah…about that.

Ridiculously, one of the reasons that people are mesmerised by Meghan is that she can speak with some charm and humour. She can handle fame. She knows how to do an interview. The job of the royal family is to be smile, feign interest in ordinary people. and play up for the media.

Meghan exposes how utterly pathetic Harry, Kate, William, Charles, the Queen et al are at these fundamental aspects of their job. Think about Prince Charles and his hesitant mumbling whinges, his charisma bypass. Think of shy William blazering and balding around nodding earnestly. Watch as Harry almost shrinks when interviewed alongside his fiance…

Meghan is disruptive, albeit not on purpose.

Sycophantic royal reporters argue that she’s ‘modernising’ the Monarchy.’

No, she’s not. Her presences is exposing how drab and bad at they are at their job. Wags have dubbed the British Monarchy Celebrity Feudalism. Meghan is now the star turn. And if she is better at being a royal than the royals are….well…why don’t we follow this through and just get a load of attractive celebrities to be our figureheads ? The Netflix Crown is so much more entertaining than the British Crown. Lets just CAST them.

And recently a very nasty, reactionary tone to some of the reporting – as if HOW VERY DARE SHE COME ALONG AND BE SMARTER, BETTER LOOKING, AND BETTER AT CHARMING PEOPLE THAN OUR ENGLAND’S ROYAL FAMILY.

Uncle Andrew, what would you do if you met a young woman from America ?

Does anyone think she’ll still be here in a decade ? My objection to monarchy is primarily political, so I don’t wish unhappiness on anyone – but unlike Stepford Royal Wives – Meghan has history – a glam career in LA, with luxury friends and freedom. She’s lived a bit. She’s not a mute.

For now she’s imprisoned in a world of uptight Brits and stilted palace protocol. Obsessives watching her every move. But for the rest of her days ? Really. ? Draughty Balmoral in Aberdeenshire in 2022 ? Nope, she’ll go back to California sooner or later, and will long to see the back of the hunting, polo and public school dullard set. Maybe Harry will go with her.

So where’s the republican vitriol you’re asking ?

Of course, to anyone over 7, the whole idea of a Princess is preposterous, and a feminist Princess is an oxymoron. The ridiculous titles – I believe she’s the Duchess of Dumbarton ( here poor people, have some celebrity crumbs ) and the ostentatious wealth, clothes, wardrobe leave a bad taste. But try as I might I can’t resent Meghan the way I loathe the rest of the Windsors. In the same way that I don’t resent American tourists for being curious about royalty ( c’mon, tourism is about gawping at local oddities) but will happily mock British monarchists.

So to conclude….when the Palace burns and the royals are being forced out at the end of a pitchfork, I might get a wee selfy with Meghan – just before I lock the gates.

Our media is filled with relentless royal sycophancy. Please Facebook-asize and Tweet And Do your Shit.

Top 5 BBC Royal Grovels

Barely a day goes by, with out some bum-clenching toadying nonsense about the royal family broadcast on the BBC. It’s relentless and it’s brain rot for the vulnerable.

Lets see what the BBC thinks we really need to know…

Woman Closes Door –  The BBC reported that a Woman closed a car door. Alert the Pulitzer committee.Screen Shot 2018-09-26 at 20.31.43.png

Boring Posh Couple Get on Tube – The BBC fawned at the very idea that Chaz n Dazed stepped out of their Bentley and deigned to slum it..

BBC Presenter Gleefully excuses Queen’s racism  – here, the BBC suddenly have an interesting royal story so…they quickly sweep it under the carpet. A grovelling guest recounts the time where the Queen met a foreign ambassador and declares   ‘I thought I was talking to a gorilla’. BBC Presenter, gives nervous hoot and describes such blatent xenophobia as  ‘cheeky’.  Will I Am doesn’t look too impressed.

If a working class person had said speaking to a foreign ambassador was like ‘talking to a gorilla’ on BBC1, can you imagine the outrage?

 

The Queen Lobbied The Home Secretary to Have A Man She Didn’t Like Deported – Wow – an actual news story. – not many  Abu Hanza fans about – but still the queen shouldn’t be interfering in justice like some Daily Mail gammon should she ?

WAIT….the BBC reached for it’s forelock & quickly APOLOGISED to the queen for daring to report an interesting insight.  Scoops 0  Sycophancy 1

Child Grows Up – Prince George is 1. Prince George Is 2. Prince George is 3. Prince George is 4. Prince George is 5.  – don’t bother clicking the links – I can assure you it’s a dull read. And, y’know, it’s sort of creepy – this child presented to us as if it’s the new Blue Peter dog.  Child Deprived of Normal Upbringing to Serve As Cute Mascot for Feudalism is a not a story I can find anywhere on the BBC.

The point is….it’s RELENTLESS.

And psychologically, it seeps in – the point is Everything That Posh Rich People Do is Very Important.

It’s not.

They’re not.

And this world of royal fetishists is right wing Jacob Rees Mogg culture, drip fed to the masses.

What can you do ? Share this article on Facebook & Twitter and print it off and slide it under the cubicle if you see Nicholas Witchell going for a royal poo.

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masticating for the royals

( update: I am going to add a list of unbelievably trivial royal stories as the bbc continue to publish them)

 

23rd  October – Prince harry drank something  People seemed pleased.

22nd October – a few people with red hair like Prince Harry. THANK YOU PUBLIC SERVICE BROADCASTERS MY LICENSE FEE HAS BEEN WELL INVESTED

18th October – Royal tour Non-Events.  They saw some things, she looked pretty. Lap it up proles.

17th October – In this truely moronic and dire report, some oul’ Aussie who won’t even go to see the royals, mouths some banal platitudes about the royals. This is utterly utterly dire. Why even publish this?

17th October – Boy rubs beard. 4th headline

14th November Prince CHarles likes posh food

Christmas Day – dull family go to church as usual

16th January – posh woman says some shit about pizzas

26 January – Queen plays game.

 27th February – woman speaks a bit differently

Royal Wedding Disruption Tool kit.

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On Saturday, two wealthy people I’ve never met get married.  I hope they’re happy with one another and enjoy their Swan Cake. Hope a fight breaks out and Uncle Andrew doesn’t paw any vulnerable teenagers who’ve flown over on private jets.

It’s hard being a UK republican and fighting against feudalism when all it’s bling is blazing. We’re cast as th Ancient Mariner, cornering the wedding guests – And till my ghastly tale is told / this heart within me burns

However, the entire circus will be used to ram monarchy down our throats,   cementing  the idea that we all love the upper classes, that we are all in awe of gold tiaras, that we all adore gazing up at the gammon and tugging our forelock…

It’s blatantly political, and should be resisted.

So here’s some online ammo

HASHTAGS: I can’t figure out a catchy one yet – #meh, #feudalnotfairytale,  #breadnotcircuses #notwatching and of course #Republicnow. Tweet me more suggestions. Using the nauseating #royalwedding hashtag is encouraged to get out of our bubbles.

Here’s a link to the £32m COST

( also worth pointing this out when the inevitable retort comes that these events pay from themselves that…they don’t )

The homeless moved of the streets. I can’t think of a more apt and embarassing metaphor. Get out of the way Real Poor. We’re going to shove you  and your unsightly poverty out of the way and replace you with Useful Idiots who’ll cheer for the very system that oppresses.  It’s like something from Oscar Wilde’s The Happy Prince.

BBC coverage – here’s some embarrassing BBC coverage from previous royal events where the presenter hoots with laughter at the queens racism. Imagine David Jason had told that story about a darts player or someone. There would have been stony silence.

The tourist nonsense – easily rebutted on the excellent Republic Win the Argument site.

The Yougov poll that found 66% of us were not interested in Royal Wedding

Please tweet and Facebook. The BBC and media are determined to only feature obsequeious. By ignoring a very valid political objection, they are insulting us. I’ll be off watching Celtic.

And every time they say ‘The Nation has royal fever’ or ‘everyone is excited’ etc  – they count us ALL as dribbling monarchists. Be insulted. Be noisy. Be Funny. Be daft. Be smart

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