FINAL RESULT Slabbery Royal Idiots 0 Meghan Markle 1

I’m enjoying Meghangate.

A rich couple have a new baby then made a sensible decision to bring up their baby as – mercy me ! – a normal kid. The cold, stiff establishment (& the countless bovine followers) would prefer the kid faces a life of exhausting scrutiny and burdened with ridiculous symbolism. ( Maybe Harry reads this blog...).

The whole thing is catnip for Britains Right Wing Roasters – Racism, royalty, feminism & rejecting the UK – suddenly red white and blue bile was fountaining up from every royalist arsehole in the country.

Equally inept were the broadcast media. They Cannot Compute That People May Not Adore The Royal Family – even when those people are Your Actual Members of the Royal family. Thus Celebrity Feudalism blows a fuse.

BBC & ITN are hard wired to revere and reinforce the place of the monarchy. So when Harry and Meghan made their Fuck It announcement, the broadcasters rushed to the usual florid faces who spouted their unsightful and unsourced assertions that the queen would be disappointed. ( does anyone else let their 95 year old Tory granny make all the decisions for their life ?) . These craven courtiers basically coughed up establishment pearl clutching on demand.

The debate was framed around what ‘Meghan had done’ to the queen – but nobody dared to question the fundamentals – the embarassing absurdity of having a dull family of aristocrats living in golden palaces as a national symbol. Nor the effect of this set up has had on Meghan, Harry and their kid.

Foaming tabloids seemed keen to present the 93 year old queen as some sort of decisive demi-Thatcher.

There was an odd exception – Suzanne Moore wrote a great piece, and weirdly the most touching thing in it was her observation that she..

” went to Diana’s funeral. I watched those boys walk behind that coffin. Even in Westminster Abbey, no one touched or hugged them.”

I remember that too. I don’t remember the royal sycophants criticising or demanding a bit more humanity from the emotionally damaged queen.

If you’ll indulge me on Meghan and Harry – I predicted this exact scenario last year. Given that royal experts are often paid for their contribution, maybe I should buy a pair of red jumbo courduroys and stand outside Buckingham Palace offering my opinion.

And what is spectacularly absent in all this Fwah Fwah Fwah analysis is any critical insight – Monarchy itself is ridiculous. It’s entirely out of date. It damages those within it. It infantalises the country and legitimises – glamourises even – inequality. Instead we have to hear Royal Expert Penny Junor descibe the Windsors as ‘the best people who sprinkle fairy dust whereever they go’ ( nice spot @uk_republic !)

Lots of British folk are completely disinterested or actively oppose the Monarchy. Our opinions are not even welcome, not asked for, not heard. The media will give airtime to those who appear to be quite unwell, but rational opinion is subversive.

I hope Harry and Meghan disappear off across the Atlantic, and when Archie is a daft wee 23 year old getting drunk and falling out of parties with girlfriends, there aren’t creepy Piers Morgan type men judging his behaviour.

And I hope he can say to his girlfriend –

“Remember when Britain used to have a royal family ? When it had a queen and that, before Charles fucked it all up ? Before the revolution ? Well…I was part of that. TRUE ! WAS TOO ! Ach lets have another joint !”

Please share this blog – especially on Facebook, then everyone at your school will think you are the coolest kid. We’re bombarded with relentless royal propaganda….throw in some salt. Thank you.

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