The Royal Family and the Environment

A much loved National Figurehead. And Prince William.

From their Private Jets, emerging from their huge palaces, leaning out of their landrover windows – the Royal Family love to lecture us that WE must do something to save the planet.

The unfolding Environmental Catastrophe does need urgently addressed. It is indeed the most cataclysmic threat of our time.

Prince Charles egotistically bores around claiming that he invented environmentalism and Royal PR eagerly shoves the Queen alongside David Attenborough and comes up with documentaries like The Queen’s Green Planet. Attenborough should place a stalking restriction on Prince William, as baldy is always elbowing in like they are bezzies.

But Oxfam tells us, that – in fact – the worlds Wealthiest 1% were responsible for more than double the emissions of the poorest 50%

Do the royal family question multinationals ? Do they critique captialism ? Do they set any sort of example by downsizing out of a palace ? Do they cut back on private jets, or even stop flying altogether ? Do they even do low bar gestures like stop burning their Grouse Moors up at Balmoral ?

Do they point out that the Rich are Disproportionately responsible for the mess of the planet ? They’re pals with Richard Branson, do they point at him and say – it’s his fault ?

Of course not.

Prince William goes with the golf club bar idiocy theory – too many people . The offensive idea being if there weren’t so many babies being born in Africa having children then Willy and his polo playing chums could continue to swan about in their Landrover Discoverys.

Father of 3, Prince William, criticises population growth

In 2020 Prince Charles was giving a speech to scientists in Cambridge about the need to lower aircraft omissions. Charles arrived in a private helicopter.

And then recently, the Queen abused her position to exempt herself from a very moderate environmental plan to cut carbon emissions. This is the opposite of making an effort.

This is refusing to make any effort whatsoever, even if it means having to actually interfere to change the law.

The richest people, are demonstrably, most responsible for the climate.

The Royal Family are apologists and legitimisers of the rich. They are friends with Plutocrats and Oil sheiks.

Don’t tell US what to do. Tell the Sultan of Bruei. Tell your royal pals in Kuwait, in UAE. Tell Qatari Royal Family.

I did love when Greta Thunberg met Chaz though. No fawning. No curtseying. No primped up in a stupid dress. Greta looked at him in a – This is a Waste of Everyone’s Time way ( of course reported sycophantically as a meeting of minds)

The Royal Family are occasionally right about the environment.

But by championing it, they immediately depoliticise the issue. They are symbols of conservative culture. They enable corporations. With no qualifications or expertise, Prince Charles – and now William – lecture us from their yachts and palaces.

Maybe when they close down their huge palaces, when they refuse to fly in private jets, or in first class, or in jets, or at all – when they replace their convoys of Bentley’s and Rolls Royces with a bike…

Then we’ll listen.

But until then. STFU HRHs.

The Corgis get Steak, the People get stuffed

The economy is on the brink. The country is in deep shit. Yet the Royal family’s huge income goes up by £200,000 to £82.4 million.

The docile and the easily duped will argue in vague terms about ‘up keep of palaces’ and ‘state functions’ but of course, there’s no real accountability. You, my friend, cannot just find out how your money is spent. The press won’t rattle any cages. The BBC tug their forelock.

The government(s) are handing over money ( our– money ) to the Queen and her family, who are already obscenely wealthy. They spend our money on steak for the corgis, and flying FBI Suspect and abuser of trafficked girls, Prince Andrew, to watch golf. They spent £3.2m on a new helicopter.

And if these lavish sums are going into ‘palace upkeep’, well how come the Windsor familly required another £369m to refurbish Buckingham Palace ( oh and they’re asking for another £20m on top of that ). Give us more money cause one spaffed the last lot on horse racing and range rovers.

It’s utterly obscene. It is an deliberate attempt to legitimise – to glamourise – hideous inequality. The royal family, in part, is about conditioning people to wave their flags and embrace the fact that toffs have golden pianos, and poor kids have foodbanks.

Here’s Our Graeme From @republic explaining how Prince Charles earns £38,000 per hour.

The default assumption is always that we all are happy serfs. Don’t be a happy serf.

Raise awarness. Cause a fuss. Nicholas Witchell’s never going to say this stuff. So please share this blog on your Facebook and the like.

FINAL RESULT Slabbery Royal Idiots 0 Meghan Markle 1

I’m enjoying Meghangate.

A rich couple have a new baby then made a sensible decision to bring up their baby as – mercy me ! – a normal kid. The cold, stiff establishment (& the countless bovine followers) would prefer the kid faces a life of exhausting scrutiny and burdened with ridiculous symbolism. ( Maybe Harry reads this blog...).

The whole thing is catnip for Britains Right Wing Roasters – Racism, royalty, feminism & rejecting the UK – suddenly red white and blue bile was fountaining up from every royalist arsehole in the country.

Equally inept were the broadcast media. They Cannot Compute That People May Not Adore The Royal Family – even when those people are Your Actual Members of the Royal family. Thus Celebrity Feudalism blows a fuse.

BBC & ITN are hard wired to revere and reinforce the place of the monarchy. So when Harry and Meghan made their Fuck It announcement, the broadcasters rushed to the usual florid faces who spouted their unsightful and unsourced assertions that the queen would be disappointed. ( does anyone else let their 95 year old Tory granny make all the decisions for their life ?) . These craven courtiers basically coughed up establishment pearl clutching on demand.

The debate was framed around what ‘Meghan had done’ to the queen – but nobody dared to question the fundamentals – the embarassing absurdity of having a dull family of aristocrats living in golden palaces as a national symbol. Nor the effect of this set up has had on Meghan, Harry and their kid.

Foaming tabloids seemed keen to present the 93 year old queen as some sort of decisive demi-Thatcher.

There was an odd exception – Suzanne Moore wrote a great piece, and weirdly the most touching thing in it was her observation that she..

” went to Diana’s funeral. I watched those boys walk behind that coffin. Even in Westminster Abbey, no one touched or hugged them.”

I remember that too. I don’t remember the royal sycophants criticising or demanding a bit more humanity from the emotionally damaged queen.

If you’ll indulge me on Meghan and Harry – I predicted this exact scenario last year. Given that royal experts are often paid for their contribution, maybe I should buy a pair of red jumbo courduroys and stand outside Buckingham Palace offering my opinion.

And what is spectacularly absent in all this Fwah Fwah Fwah analysis is any critical insight – Monarchy itself is ridiculous. It’s entirely out of date. It damages those within it. It infantalises the country and legitimises – glamourises even – inequality. Instead we have to hear Royal Expert Penny Junor descibe the Windsors as ‘the best people who sprinkle fairy dust whereever they go’ ( nice spot @uk_republic !)

Lots of British folk are completely disinterested or actively oppose the Monarchy. Our opinions are not even welcome, not asked for, not heard. The media will give airtime to those who appear to be quite unwell, but rational opinion is subversive.

I hope Harry and Meghan disappear off across the Atlantic, and when Archie is a daft wee 23 year old getting drunk and falling out of parties with girlfriends, there aren’t creepy Piers Morgan type men judging his behaviour.

And I hope he can say to his girlfriend –

“Remember when Britain used to have a royal family ? When it had a queen and that, before Charles fucked it all up ? Before the revolution ? Well…I was part of that. TRUE ! WAS TOO ! Ach lets have another joint !”

Please share this blog – especially on Facebook, then everyone at your school will think you are the coolest kid. We’re bombarded with relentless royal propaganda….throw in some salt. Thank you.

When oul’ Queeny kicks the Golden Bucket…

Day after day we’re sold the fiction  that the Royal Family – and in particular The Queen – is some sort of ever present po faced Demi God. But, you know what….she’s gonna go….

Elizabeth Windsor was born in 1926. Phillip Mountbatten was born in 1921. Phil’s gone…and soon…

. There’ll be a clamour for wailing peasants and tearful celebrities on an unprecedented scale. The black ties that BBC reporters carry with them, will be donned as part of Operation London Bridge .

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Your Revolting Scribe here feels sympathy for any human being who dies, and it’s not a great look to be actively cheering on an Old Persons Death. Ultimately, a rich aristocrat  who I never met, will have be gone and I won’t be in any way upset, but  because I’m human – nor will I be leading a buckfast drinking Conga down the Mall.

But I will be resisting the compulsary sadfacing that is expected of us.

Because schedules will be cleared.  The BBC will drop all comedy ( how dare you LAUGH at a time like this ?). Drippy music will be played even on Radio 1. The message will be clear – an posh old lady dying after a long life of luxury  is a NATIONAL TRAGEDY.

How will this work with other news ? What if Betty pops her clogs on the same day as Brexit ? Or a horrible violent attack elsewhere? Or an hour before the Champions League final? How will the BBC cover differing reactions – Windsor will react in a very different way from the Falls Road Belfast, or Liverpool, or Glasgow….( answer – they won’t ).

[ a slightly odd Vanity Fair video about events]

The establishment knows, an interegnum, is a potentially volatile time. Whilst Republicans will be screamed at to show respect, the machinery of the establishment will kick in, ruthless ensuring  that daring to even discuss the future of the monarchy is a sacriligous scandal.  If we dare to ask if King Charles is really such a Good idea, the Royal Experts ( who already cashed in by signing exclusive deals to be part of Sky News rolling coverage) will declare we’re crass and hateful…

At the EXACT moment, when it’s vital to discuss whether The Monarchy should continue, UK Republicans will be  told to be silent or be labelled callous opportunists.

I hope Republic have a plan for dealing with this, I hope Republican MPs speak up.

But in the age of social media, they can’t just declare that we’re ALL inconsolable  weeping wrecks. We can make our voices heard. We can be visible. We have to say….

Sorry For Your Loss Windsors, But Lets Leave it There….

[ Please share this blog on Facebook, or elsewhere. Win the Revolution comes, you’ll get a free AIR BnB discount voucher for a Night in Balmoral*]

[ *not true. But do share]

jadediana

Why I SUPPOSE YOU’D PREFER BLAIR / BORIS is a stupid thing to say….

Monarchists quickly run out of arguments when confronted with the very reasonable idea of an Elected Head of State.

So it foot stomping petulance they blurt out “Oh so I supposed you’d prefer President Blair ?”

So for clarity…

  • An elected Head of State would be elected – why do you presume your compatriots would all rush vote for a discredited figure like Blair ? Isn’t that a bit insulting ?
  • Whoever chose put themselves forward to be Head of State would face scrutiny and have to account for themselves. There would be justification. ( Emerging from a Windsor Vagina does not require anyone to explain themselves, nor volunteer )
  • Even if this unlikely scenario came to pass – President Blair – I actually WOULD prefer it, because I could campaign against him and argue that he’s not a suitable candidate and hopefully the next time the head of state electionsadolf-hitler-duke-and-duchess-of-windsortook place he would be gone. If Prince Charles confirms his status as a disastrous ol’ clown, there’s no real way his ‘subjects’ can hold him to account. Bear in mind that Edward was due to be King, and he was an Nazi Sympathiser. Only an American divorcee and his abdication saved the UK from a fascist leaning Head of State.
  • Finally look at our neighbours Ireland, they’ve had a good run of Presidents in recent years, who’ve stood up for the people, and occasionally offered guidance during national debates.

When you get into a discussion with a puce face monarchist, it’s worth sending them to this blog post when they bust out the PRESIDENT BLAIR idiocy.

Republic have a good site – Monarchy Myth Buster

And if you want to speculate about who COULD be President of the United Kingdom, here’s a little democratic pie I prepared earlier….

Top 5 BBC Royal Grovels

Barely a day goes by, with out some bum-clenching toadying nonsense about the royal family broadcast on the BBC. It’s relentless and it’s brain rot for the vulnerable.

Lets see what the BBC thinks we really need to know…

Woman Closes Door –  The BBC reported that a Woman closed a car door. Alert the Pulitzer committee.Screen Shot 2018-09-26 at 20.31.43.png

Boring Posh Couple Get on Tube – The BBC fawned at the very idea that Chaz n Dazed stepped out of their Bentley and deigned to slum it..

BBC Presenter Gleefully excuses Queen’s racism  – here, the BBC suddenly have an interesting royal story so…they quickly sweep it under the carpet. A grovelling guest recounts the time where the Queen met a foreign ambassador and declares   ‘I thought I was talking to a gorilla’. BBC Presenter, gives nervous hoot and describes such blatent xenophobia as  ‘cheeky’.  Will I Am doesn’t look too impressed.

If a working class person had said speaking to a foreign ambassador was like ‘talking to a gorilla’ on BBC1, can you imagine the outrage?

 

The Queen Lobbied The Home Secretary to Have A Man She Didn’t Like Deported – Wow – an actual news story. – not many  Abu Hanza fans about – but still the queen shouldn’t be interfering in justice like some Daily Mail gammon should she ?

WAIT….the BBC reached for it’s forelock & quickly APOLOGISED to the queen for daring to report an interesting insight.  Scoops 0  Sycophancy 1

Child Grows Up – Prince George is 1. Prince George Is 2. Prince George is 3. Prince George is 4. Prince George is 5.  – don’t bother clicking the links – I can assure you it’s a dull read. And, y’know, it’s sort of creepy – this child presented to us as if it’s the new Blue Peter dog.  Child Deprived of Normal Upbringing to Serve As Cute Mascot for Feudalism is a not a story I can find anywhere on the BBC.

The point is….it’s RELENTLESS.

And psychologically, it seeps in – the point is Everything That Posh Rich People Do is Very Important.

It’s not.

They’re not.

And this world of royal fetishists is right wing Jacob Rees Mogg culture, drip fed to the masses.

What can you do ? Share this article on Facebook & Twitter and print it off and slide it under the cubicle if you see Nicholas Witchell going for a royal poo.

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masticating for the royals

( update: I am going to add a list of unbelievably trivial royal stories as the bbc continue to publish them)

 

23rd  October – Prince harry drank something  People seemed pleased.

22nd October – a few people with red hair like Prince Harry. THANK YOU PUBLIC SERVICE BROADCASTERS MY LICENSE FEE HAS BEEN WELL INVESTED

18th October – Royal tour Non-Events.  They saw some things, she looked pretty. Lap it up proles.

17th October – In this truely moronic and dire report, some oul’ Aussie who won’t even go to see the royals, mouths some banal platitudes about the royals. This is utterly utterly dire. Why even publish this?

17th October – Boy rubs beard. 4th headline

14th November Prince CHarles likes posh food

Christmas Day – dull family go to church as usual

16th January – posh woman says some shit about pizzas

26 January – Queen plays game.

 27th February – woman speaks a bit differently

They assume you love the Windsor Family

We’re relentlessly told that the Monarchy projects a good image of the UK on a world stage.

Er… posh, stale, bloodsport loving, thick, white,  boorish, military cloned hereditary Windsor Yahs –  is that what we want the world to think of first when they think of the UK in 2015?

I know the snootyness actually appeals to some  ( “oh gee I love your Downtown Abby” ) but c’mon we don’t sentimentalise rickets, or workhouses, or other symptoms of class discrimination.

I’ve battered on about the arguments against royalty here, there and everywhere, and Republic do it better at their Winning the Argument section. But sometimes logic doesn’t make people change their minds.

What’s important, is to change perceptions, to point out that the Windsors are naff. Are ugly and uncool. Are as appealing as Nicholas Witchell’s lesbian crushing bumhole.

There will always be Peasant Crown Monkeys who gimp it up for the camera….

People like this guy – who wrote Diana and Dodi’s name on his face every day at the Diana inquest. You’ll also spot him at outside their private hospital festooned in union jacks.

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“I’ve always been a Diana fan, but last year I woke up one day and decided to paint her name on my forehead – it just felt right,”

Ok, I’m a sarcastic snidey blogger and don’t want to be cruel to this man but clearly…he has a few issues. But again and again, the uk media and (embarrassingly) the international media love these ‘umble types, and play up the idea that they’re representative of attitudes towards the Windsors.

And who else do they count as a monarchists ?

You actually. The media default assumption is we all are. If Das Feudal Circus is in town and an office worker munching on tasty Greggs sausage roll dawdles over to the kerb for a gawp, they’re hailed by the press as a royal ‘well-wisher’, who ‘welcomed’ that vulgar big Bentley into town.

Anyone staring at the bizarre freakshow family is portrayed as in thrall to the monarchy.

And every criticism is shunned and buried, no-one draws attention to disinterest…

Consider the scandalous fact that Scotland’s newly opened hospital – built entirely with public money – was opened by the queen in front a few hundred folk, some of whom were keen to see the monarchy, some of whom were just hanging out.

For unfathomable reasons the hospital was named the Queen Elizabeth University hospital Glasgow ( despite the fact that the queen doesn’t use the nhs, hasn’t been to university,  and purred with pleasure down the phone to David Cameron when Scotland shat it at the referendum. Glasgow voted yes ).

So far so tediously predictable..

Don’t let them count you as a Monarchist.

A Modest Proposal: Use the NHS

We’re constantly told by the Ruling Classes that The Royals Represent Us.

As I’ve venom-ed elsewhere, this is risible regal guff.

In a world full of slobbering sycophants and relentless royal fawnery – I  don’t like to help the Windsor family  with their PR at all….but whilst we wait for that guillotine bought on ebay,  I have a modest suggestions.

Get one’s royal arse to the NHS.

Bizarrely, at the opening of each new NHS hospital, the royal family turn up, awkward and blazered.  They pull a wee rope, try to hide how bored they are, patronise the staff, nod at some equipment, then 45 minutes later hop into their luxury cars and get rushed back to one of their many palaces ( this is what the papers call ‘hard working royals’ ). In some respects, it’d be more appropriate if they turned up to close NHS wards given the drain on the national finances….

Well know sex trafficker and boor Prince Andrew declares he'd like to leave now

Well know sex trafficker and boor Prince Andrew declares he’d like to leave now

But when Das Windsor get the golden trots, or need their heir pulled, or get their piles fixed, they don’t trust the NHS. Even though – scandalously – they only have an NHS surgery which no one else can use in Buckingham Palace. And they interfere and try to make the NHS spunk money on their uninformed idiotic ideas. Anyway when they get the lurgy,  all their faux NHS interest and bland nodding disappears, and like a rat up a golden-drainpipe, they scuttle off to some expensive private hospital. The press rarely draw any attention to this.

samp165089eef46cf7c1Imagine how good it would be if the headline was “Toff Tot: Kate snubs NHS again”?

Of course monarchists will waffle on about security and a load of other bollocks to justify their snooty preferences. Just think of the positive endorsement it would give the NHS. It would show solidarity with the people. It would reveal to the world how good the NHS is. It would show commitment to something that we all use.

But the monarchy is steeped in snobbery, and they won’t. And even if they did it’d be tokenistic.

But amidst the impending royal-baby idiocy that most of us aren’t even interested in, it’s good to at least draw attention to the fact that, feudal sprogs emerge from magic windsor vaginas ( you wanna be head of state? You didn’t fall from a Windsor Womb ? Fugedabout it )  in private hospitals that cost £6k a night.

To them, NHS staff are from the wrong caste.

Everyday, every newspaper churns out royal praise and platitudes. Please tweet or share this blog on Facebook as a Tiny Act Of Resistance.

 

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