The Royal Family Are Liars ( and always have been)

The Royal Family are liars. No ? You don’t agree ?

Well either Harry is lying ( “they were happy to lie to protect my brother” ) or the Palace is lying. Either way, it’s indisputable that a member of the Royal Family is lying.

But we should hardly be shocked. The Royal Family have been lying for centuries…. and are almost never held to account. They loftily issue statements from on high, and no-one – the deferential police, the right wing media, the grovelling politicians – ever dares to query their dubious version of events.

Recollections may vary…

The Palace lied about Epstein’s victims:

The Firm epitomise unaccountable power. The fawning and servile behaviour around the royal family is of course risible & comical, but their lies are not just white lies & the stuff of late night talk show snark. It also big lies, to corruption, that causes real world harm & trauma.

Prince Andrew’s truthful face

In 2015, when court action loomed, Prince Andrew and the palace, in an official statement ‘vehmently denied’ “any form of sexual contact or relationship with Virginia Roberts” and added: “The allegations made are false and without any foundation.” Essentially, they said the 17 year old girl, trafficked by notorious paedophile Epstein & notorious trafficker Ghislaine – was lying.

It went to court, and Prince Andrew’s lawyers called the victim ‘a money hungry sex kitten’. They then conceded – $10m dollars were paid out and a statement acknowledging the girl had “suffered both as an established victim of abuse and as a result of unfair public attacks”. The money ( our money ) was paid to ensure Andrew didn’t have to face a courtroom and explain why he – and the PALACE – were clearly lying. Please bear in mind, this was the all the might of the Monarchy – all those who work for it – doing whatever they could to trash the teenage victim.

These types of aggressive attacks on me are exactly the reason why sexual abuse victims typically remain silent and the reason why I did for a long time

Viginia Roberts, on the Palace Campaign, 2015

The Palace lied to protect a Nazi in the Family

This is a lie by omission. The Crown had an excellent episode about the Marburg Files – the documents the royal family tried to erase from history. It’s an extraordinary tale of treason (and I’d recommend reading about it). In essence, the Duke of Windsor eagerly collaborated with the Nazi’s, to the extent that he advised them that “Duke believes with certainty that continued heavy bombing will make England ready for peace.” 

There you go, the Queen’s uncle, advising Actual Nazis, that their best strategy to win the war was to kill English people and destroy London. The government, the family, the military all knew about this, but when the royal families wartime history is told, it’s all about ‘looking the East end in the eye’ and queenie volunteering to drive a truck. No-one mentions that The Duke of Windsor kept his title, lived a long luxurious life after the war, and King Charles regularly wrote to him.

The time they lied to hide the ‘shame’ of their mentally ill relatives

The Queen Mother, became the patron of Mencap in 1986 ( they still boast about this on their website ). Her patronage was appallingly hypocritical given vshe was complicit in hiding two of her own mentally disable nieces into a mental institution – in order to ensure their was no embarasment to the Royal Family ( the Queen Mother was unapologetically obsessed with bloodlines & eugenics ). The sisters – Katherine and Nerissa Bowes-Lyon were the Queen’s first cousins. But after being hidden away, their family told Debrett’s peerage ( the aristocracy Who’s Who ) that they….were dead. They were abandoned, never getting a card or a visitor. That was the lie – the disabled members of the family were dead. When the scandal broke in 1987, the Debretts publisher said… “It is not normal to doubt the word of members of the Royal Family.”

They lied about Love

For Broken Biscuits

Every wedding is presented as a ‘fairytale wedding’ for us gormless proles to stare at with dreamy eyed wonder. Even when…Charles and Diana are weeping the night before. As marriages strain over the years, there are documentaries & fawning reports about ‘long lasting’ love – despite the Penny Knatchbull, despite Camilla, despite Rose Hanbury looming around. They think we’re gullable and daft. You may say everyone is entitled to privacy within their marriage – and that’s normally true – but The Windsors are presented to us as eternally happy, good and worth the money.

And they tell little lies regularly…

After the ‘Where are you really from?’ racism incident recently, the Palace press office claimed ““We have reached out to Ngozi Fulani on this matter, and are inviting her to discuss all elements of her experience in person”. But days later Ngozi Fulani said noone had been in touch. Just a taxpayer funded office telling open lies in a blind panic to clear their own people.

There are many, many such examples – claiming to do one thing, but presenting no evidence and almost never challenged.

The point I’m making is – historically & culturally – The Firm find it very easy to lie, and even easier to ‘seed’ lies to their court of sycophants & media cyphers – ‘palace sources’ gives a story credibility, but also, is deniable if things go sour.

It’s extraordinary. Nobody holds them to account. Nobody calls out the bullshit, big and small. To even question their version of events is seen as an affront.

( this….is a partially a RT / Share on Facebook plea, to inspire critical thought about royal coverage)

Boo The Royal Family

The Monarchy is big on pageantry. Putting themselves at the very centre of carefully choreographed national events.

They love basking in the cheers. Associating themselves with genuine achievements – be it a hospital opening, a Cup Final or a big film premiere.

But if they love a bit of feudal panto, we can play that game too.

Liverpool fans booing Prince William ( & God Save the Queen ) is proof that not everyone equates national anthem with automatic sycophancy.

Sure, it’s a blunt instrument, but fuckin’ hell, they’ve got the Red Arrows, the press, the BBC and the a budget of millions and they bribe people a special bank holiday to ensure they get a cheer.

But Booing works. A few brave Boo’s can change an event in seconds.

Prince William looked like the chancer he was after his perfunctory Grenfell tower visit.

No-one really asks our opinions on the royal family. There’s very little room to show dissent, to publically display republicanism.

Booing at jubilees and weddings, I admit that’s ambitious. But when the toffs come to patronise us, to working class culture, we should all….BOOOOOOOOOO

BOOOOOOOO TO BRIBES AND SECRECT

BOOOOOOOO TO RACISM

BOOOOOOOOOOOO TO CLASS CONDITIONING

And voila, the royals will stop turning up for big public events. Monarchy, generally do not feel comfortable

BOOOOOO

Give me a cheer. And do share on the Facebook & Twitter

How the Palace Tried to get Andrew off the hook

Bizarrely, when it comes to Prince Andrew, there is some sympathy around for the Royal Family & Monarchy. As if…. he’s just an aberration – the embarassing black sheep of the family. Conveniently ignoring that his behaviour is a predictable result of enabling arrogant toffs who are never ever told they are wrong Sir.

Let’s look back on Prince Andrew and the workings of the Palace – and note how the Monarchy’s army of PR people and “aides” assisted and enabled him at every turn.

We all now know – and he does not deny – that Prince Andrew forced himself on a vulnerable teenager. This Bad Apple theory suits the secretive inner workings of the monarchy – it obscures the fact that the palace that has been straining to help him avoid justice all along. Enabling Andrew. That’s the story no-one is focusing on…

1999 – Prince Andrew flies with Maxwell to Epstein’s island. Flight logs show this. Prince Andrew’s security & the palace knew this. Did no-one think….erm….to ask ANY questions ? Did the Met Bodyguards who accompanied him report what they saw at Little St James ? What say you Buckingham Palace? It really stinks.

1999 – Epstein and Maxwell stay at Balmoral. Is there any security clearance or background check required ? Did anyone query who they were ? Or if Prince Andrew says they’re his chums, do they dare not question Royal Judgement (mind you Savile was allowed to roam around the palaces as he pleased)

2001 – Prince Andrew Rapes Virgina – The Photo. The house. The vulnerable 17 year old runaway surrounded by older rich and powerful people. So, Buckingham Palace – why can’t you tell us …were Andrew’s security with him ? Why are their logs not available ? Why won’t the palace produce the notes that prove he was in Pizza Express that night ? Did they rip out & destroy the pages that said ‘Tramp nightclub. Private residence in Belgravia with young girl’ ?

2012 –THE PALACE HELPS ARRANGE FOR EPSTEIN TO PAY OFF FERGIE’S DEBTS: that’s what happened. It was all arranged via ‘The Duke’s Office’ – i.e. palace staff. Despite Epstein’s conviction – nobody objected. They were not duped, they facilitated. Later Fergie apologises for taking £15k from Epstein to pay off her debts – saying “I abhor paedophilia and any sexual abuse of children and know that this was a gigantic error of judgment on my behalf.” Thanks for clarifying that Fergie. She also added “This is the first time ever in my life, and I mean ‘ever’, that I have been debt free. It allows me to go forward to do what I do, being a good mother, a philanthropist for children…”

There you go, a “philanthropist for children”, who eagerly grabbed money from a convicted paedophile.

2015 – THE PALACE VICTIM BLAMES – “It is emphatically denied that the Duke of York had any form of sexual contact or relationship with [the woman]. The allegations made are false and without any foundation.” thunders Buckingham Palace. Think about that for a moment – those are not Prince Andrew’s words, they are The British Monarchy’s words. They are issued from on high, and come with the full heft of the establishment behind them. They are written by a highly paid aide, with expensive lawyers whispering advice. I’d imagine the Queen would have had to approve the wording. We now know they are LIES. You, the taxpayer paid ( lots) to victimise a young girl, to upset and traduce her.

From The Guardian, 4th January 2015

THE PALACE THREATENS JOURNALISM – When the initial story broke, the Palace started flexing its muscle, making veiled threats against newspapers who might reveal further information. ABC newsreader Amy Robach (unwittingly) revealed that she had recorded an interview with Andrew’s victim – Virginia – and that it had never been broadcast. “I’ve had the story for three years,” Robach says in the video ( which no longer seems to be online, but there’s a version here – warning links to FOX ). “We would not put it on the air. Um, first of all, I was told, ‘Who was Jeffrey Epstein? No one knows who that is. This is a stupid story. Then The Palace found out that we had her whole allegations about Prince Andrew and threatened us a million different ways.

September 2019 – “sources close to” Prince Andrew ( i.e. the palace and his PR people ) claimed the Andrew / Virgina photo was faked – absolutely desperate stuff from the palace, trying to undermine the victim and their irrefutable evidence.

November 2019 – The Prince and the Palace thinks they can outsmart us, with a tell all interview with Emily Maitliss. Whilst turned out to be a great scoop, it’s worth considering the dubious journalistic practice – it took place in the grandeur of Buckingham Palace ( ergo, lending it state-like gravitas ). Also, the interview was not in keeping with news norms – Maitlis discussed the content of the interview in advance ( over tea at the palace, Prince Andrew himself declared he thought the photograph was a doctored fake. ) Astonishing though it may seen, the incredibly stupid alibi – I was at Pizza Express – was prearranged by the palace before the interview. His answer would have been rehearsed.

From Emily Maitlis’s blog about the interview

Feb 2020 – An exasperated FBI announced “Prince Andrew has provided zero cooperation“. “Sources” tell the newspapers that he is ‘more than happy to talk’. But of course, those unattributable sources ( i.e. The Palace) are just lying. The Monarchy is run by the Queen, and no-one is making Prince Andrew cooporate with the law, and they continue to lie to the public, and besmirch the victim.

There may be other countless moments the palace intervened to pervert the course of justice. They know Prince Andrew is toast. I wonder what role the Government took in the whole thing. Did they apply pressure to get rid of charges?

But they don’t want anyone scrutinising THEIR ROLE in the whole sleazy farrago. Because you – the taxpayer – pay for palace staff, for PR, for lawyers.

Which is why we should not draw a line under it.

( and once again, respect & sympathy for Virginia Giuffre, the girl from rough circumstances who took on the establishment and won. Go Girl.)

[ UPDATE: 29th March – Prince Andrew, is pride of place beside the Queen at Westminster Abbey for Prince Phillip’s memorial service. Being chauffered, heralded, protected. ]

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Prince Andrew: The Queen is complicit…

There seems to be a very urgent effort to erect a High Firewall between Prince Andrew and the rest of The Firm, as stories ’emerge’ that ‘the Queen will not pay his spiraling costs’.

Andrew is toxic. He is disgraced. They know that they must cut him loose.

And it’s all presented with an infantile *puts on cry-wank-Eastenders accent* “Our Poor Queen, gor-bless…another burden on her poor life…is her wayward son….” *tiny tears*

Er….It’s a bit fuckin’ LATE.

The Queen runs the monarchy. That’s how it works. The monarchy has done everything it can to obstruct justice (not to mention, the Quee is the mother to the spoilt & arrogant Andrew ).

Queenie has been arrogantly supporting of her idiotic son since the story broke. She has very publically stood by him. She has been reluctant to show any sort of disapproval – no Palace Summits to discuss exploiting teenage girls. In fact, he brought paedophiles to slouch about on the throne. The palace machine has gone even further – actually helping Andrew orchestrate his PR. As this Vanity Fair story put it at the time “Under the protection of the Queen, Prince Andrew was untouchable.”

Consider…

When story first broke in 2010, the queens response was…to award Andrew with the highest possible award for personal service to the Queen – the Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order. Even the grovelling royal press took a dim view.

Basically, nothing changed for Andrew. In fact, he was promoted.

5 years later the Epstein story was back in the news and Prince Andrew was named in court papers…and asked to make a statement under oath. Buckingham palace refused to accept the papers, sending them back. And 55 year old Andrew was…promoted to Vice Admiral of the Royal Navy ! Hurrah, throw your hats in the air sailors ! Vice ! Vice ! Vice !

After Andrew shot himself in the foot with his utterly humiliating Newsnight interview – the world laughed and raged and the Queen singled out Andrew to join her in a public engagement.

In 2021 – the Queen made sure he kept his role as honorary colonel of the Grenadier Guards. ‘Military sources’ told The Times “The Queen has let it be known to the regiment that she wants the Duke of York to remain as colonel and the feeling is that nobody wants to do anything that could cause upset to the colonel-in-chief. It is a very difficult, unsatisfactory situation.” (all those military types pledging slabbering loyalty to the Queen. Then when they express misgivings about her sleazeball son as a figurehead she shows that she couldn’t give less of a fuck for what they think about anything.)

And this is just the stuff we know.

What we don’t know – what goes on behind palace gates, in the government departments – is far more intriguing – listen up, these are the important questions

What did the Queen know and when did she know it ?

How did she find out ? What did she do about it ? Who did she tell ?

Was a blind eye turned to Andrew’s friendship with a paedophile ? With the palace & Queen’s knowledge ?

Have the palace – and taxpayer – put money into obfuscation ? Have we been paying for PR for the Prince Andrew ? Have we been paying for his lawyers?

It seems utterly inconcievable that senior members of the palace staff, the Met police – who, after all, provided protection officers who accompanied Prince Andrew to Epstein’s island – and the Queen, who is, after all, the head of the monarchy – knew nothing ?

The secrecy around the royal family has always been a disgrace. Now it is being used to hide actual criminal behaviour.

And given that the royal family have access to state secrets, to GCHQ, to the full powers of the state, are we allowed to know if the odds against the Brave Young Women are fair ? When the Intelligence community justify unethical action in ‘Defence of the Realm’ does that run to protecting the Queen and her family from the law?

Every single day, the royals are revered and fawned over on the BBC, ITN, the majority of the newspapers. Nobody wants to hold the whole institution to account.

Social media then must be their demise. Please have a wee go at Facebooking and Tweeting this blog. Upset Jacob Rees Mogg and his fawning ilk.

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Satire is fun. But lets remember, Prince Andrew actually abused a girl with his own Spitting Image Puppet.

Royals For Sale !

The Windsor family are handed an extraordinary and obscene amounts of money that’s ultimately from our pocket via taxation. They are just one family and they required £142.4 million in 2019.

But £142.4 million, it would appear, is not enought to fill their grasping velvet mitts.

The Windsor family are courted by the vulgar, the wealthy, oily corporate types. Stupidly rich people.

These people are the Royals peers – their contact with the ‘real world’ of business. As a result, useless dotards like Prince Andrew are desperately keen to be seen as Players in the Big Dick Business Game – it might impress his friend Peter Jones.

[ Funnily enough, the smug Dragon doesn’t boast so much about being Prince Andrew’s friend these days. *Duncan voice* Ahm Owt ]

But Arrogant Baby Man Andy wants to prove that he IN HIS OWN RIGHT is one of the dynamic and streetwise movers and shakers. Of course, the spoiled royals aren’t used to rules, laws and haven’t a clue about commercial cut’n’thrust.

Ker-ching for a Day..

Prince Andrew acted as a broker for a Kazakh Oligarch who was desperate to buy a home from the Queens estate.

Co-in-ci-dentally at the same time…. he sells his horrible shitty house to….the very same Kazakh Oligarch for £15m ( £3m pounds over the asking price for a house that no-one else wanted ) Fancy that !

The Oligrach was so thrilled with his purchase….that err…he never even visited SouthYork – and bulldozed the whole place a few years later.

[ this information was revealed through a Freedom of Information request, but…now the royals are exempt from FOI requests ]

Fergie sells access to Andrew

In a tabloid sting, Fergie demanded the Fake Sheik wire half a million quid to her account …saying that this would “open any door you want, and I will for you…look after me and he’ll look after you”. Maybe the FBI should get in touch with Fergie to help prise those palace gates open.

Fergie also took money from Epstein – £15,000. Significantly, this was AFTER he came out of prison. I mean, you’re in the public eye, you need some money – who do you turn to ? A high profile convicted paedophile of course !

She later said – “I abhor peadophilia and any sexual abuse of children and know that this was a gigantic error of judgment on my behalf. I am just so contrite I cannot say”. Oh boo-hoo- but HE WAS A CONVICTED PAEDOPHILE AT THE TIME AND YOU STAYED IN HIS HOUSE, AND POCKETED HIS MONEY you crass imbecile.

The Fence, Camilla – who’s nephew also sells access – and Chaz

Get a Gong from Prince Charles – Slightly different route, but still a transaction. You are a wealthy Saudi for example – you make a huge donation to one of Prince Charles’s charities, and Charles’s fixer Michael Fawcett – will arrange an honour for you. Or in posh-speak the honours “will be made in response to the most recent and anticipated support [of] The Trust, and in connection with his ongoing commitment generally within the United Kingdom”.

Funny how the Palace and the press always credit the royals for their “hands on” work with charity. Then there’s the sniff of corruption and suddenly Mercy Me – oh no Prince Charles knows nothing about the day to day operation of the charity. ( in this specific case it doesn’t ring true at all)

Duke of Kent will get you access to Putin – quite the bargain at £50,000 for a week – or, if you want the full package – £143,000 for an recorded speech endorsement by the Duke himself. You might of wondered – who is this guy and what does he do ? Well, he does very little and he charges a lot. ( very weird that he offers access to Putin !)

Sophie will get Edward to appear at your function. As she argued in 2001 – For instance, in your own country when people find we’re working for you, the chances are you’ll get people interested: Oh gosh, they’ve employed the Countess of Wessex’s PR company.’ ( she had to resign when this came out)

These are just a few examples, and the few that we know about. There’s a smell from Prince Andrew’s Pitch at the Palace, and how does he have enough money to buy ski chalets and fly around in Private Jet ?

But – for no good reason – The Royal family are also blanketed in ridiculous secrecry – we’re allowed to know nothing, there is no transparancy – they’re protected never called to account for their actions.

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The Paedophiles Pal, protected by the Queen…

A year on, and a lawyer representing the victims of Jeffrey Epstein has called it outrageous that Prince Andrew has still not cooperated with the FBI.

It is absolutely scandalous. A man who’s movements are automatically documented by his protection officers ( your £) cannot find any way of proving his innocence. I wrote about the scandal here

But the FBI investigation is just the tip of the feudal nonce-berg.

The implications for the Monarchy are huge. Ask yourself…

What did the Palace know, when did they know it and what did they do about it ?

Was the Queen was told her son was fraternising with a criminal paedophile and didn’t say anything to him ? She keeps publically showing support for Andrew, what is she doing behind the scenes?

She takes him to Church. But not to court.

Or is is possible the Queen pressurised the UK government to protect him ?

Is it outlandish to suggest that the UK could have already been blackmailed – do what we say or we’ll reveal films of Prince Andrew abusing an underage girl, which in turn will mean the End of the Monarchy ? Do you think the UK establishment would stand up for justice OR do everything they can to protect the Queen and her family ?

Where are the politicians calling for Prince Andrew to face justice ? Can you imagine if this was a footballer, or a TV star ? They’d be hounded onto the first plane for New York.

The Queen herself pressurised the Home Secretary to deport Abu Hamza to the USA. So why isn’t the Queen putting pressure on Prince Andrew to cooperate? Indeed, why isn’t she being asked about it ?

Why isn’t the UK Government requesting Prince Andrew work with US authorities ?

Have the UK police interviewed him under caution ?

I normally try to make my blogs snarly and gossipy. But this is hideous.

You pay for this beefy sleazeball to play golf and fraternise with tyrants. You have to bow to him. The secrecy they demand is being abused to hide a crime. Young women were abused and trafficked – one of those women gives a very convincing account of him abusing her – and yet he’s still a Prince – even if he’s no longer amongst us ?

Who’s side are you on ?

Prince Andrew Scandal should be the End the Monarchy…

Before anything, let me express my sympathy and support for the women and girls who were enslaved and abused. Virginia Giuffre ( formerly Roberts) and other girls / young women – your innocence, your vulnerability were exploited by powerful men, and you deserve justice.

In speaking out you are heroic, courageous and to be supported. I believe what your saying and am in awe of your resilience.

Beyond the personal trauma this criminal episode, exposes the whole monarchy, not just Prince Andrew.

The Questions that need answered….

Did the Royal Family / the government / the Queen know about Prince Andrew’s visits to Epstein’s island ? To his mansion in New York ?

Who did his security detail ( who we pay for ) report to and what did they say ? (“Prince on island with lots of teenage girls and sleazy men. Some of girls may be underage.” ?)

Was there a reluctance to confront the Duke with his behaviour? After all he is notoriously a boor and shouts at anyone who questions him ?

If the authorties / royal family / establishment knew what was going on – what did they do about it ? Anything ?

There is a toxic, corrupting secrecy around the Royal Family, and we are allowed to know almost nothing, despite paying for almost everything. They are exempt from Freedom of Information. We’re not allowed to know.

It’s one thing to argue that they are entitled to secrecy because why-should-the-public-know-how much-one’s-holidays cost – but quite another, when the secrecy is harnessed to protect them from being questioned about a very serious and ugly crime. Abuse. That’s the word. Abuse.

Stop and think about this for a moment.

The most reviled and hideous paedophile in the UK in decades was Jimmy Savile. Who Prince Charles counted as a good friend and advisor.

The most reviled and notorious paedophile in US currently was Jeffrey Epstein. Who Prince Andrew counted as a good friend and holiday buddy ( even after his conviction).

Prince Andrew was a patron of the NSPCC ( National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children) who campaign against trafficking. UPDATE: NSPCC have since disowned Prince Andrew’s patronage since this article has been published.]

Charles Mountbatten Windsor and Andrew Mountbatten Windsor – arrogant, idiotic, sleazy men – we are told – REPRESENT US. We are told they are role models. We are requested to call them Your Royal Highness. We are expected to pay for their life of luxury.

Doesn’t that make you wince ? Make you angry ?

So here’s the news….The Queen is going to die soon.

So make a stand. She’s must be the last monarch. Argue, cause embarrassment, rattle cages, exploit the up and coming political shitstorm.

No more royals. No more Feudalism. No more secrecy. No more golden carriages and slobbering royal weddings.

[ and if you could kick off the rebellion by ReTweeting or Sharing this article on Facebook, then you will be awarded the Revolting Subject Medal of Showing some Spine in an Obsequious world]

Facebook it or Tweet it like a good ‘un.

The Royal Family – above the law…

Some otherwise reasonable and savvy people, are are Mushy  Monarchists.

They talk the talk politically, but reserve the right to flop on the couch and wallow in a  a tedious documentary about the Queen’s best pals all being horses.

The Mushy Monarchists  justification runs thus…’oh come on it’s harmless pageantry and flags & good ol’ British tradition’. Such nonsense lets the upper classes sentimentalise inequality  & repackage unpleasant snobbishness as charming character traits.

But this whimsical narrative is shattered when members of the royal family are revealed to be above the law, meddling  and arrogant.

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I’ll be the Judge

The laws don’t apply to the Windsors. Under UK law, the Sovereign cannot be prosecuted. Or even questioned apparently.

Prince Charles has long hung out with some dubious characters. Despite some desperate spinning by royal PR, Prince Charles’s  long friendship with Jimmy Savile is undeniable, his life guru Laurens Van Der Post impregnated a 14 year old girl ( lets not forget that Savile-and-Charles-660x553Van Der Post is Prince William’s godfather ). Recently, Charles sympathised with abusive bishop Peter Bell, lamenting the ‘monstrous wrongs that have been done to you’. He  gave the Abusive Bishop money, and then a house “not too far from here so you can come over more easily”. Aww. That’s nice.

Of course none of this association implies Prince Charles himself is guilty of anything so sinister – I am politically opposed to The Windsors, but no-one should be accused of anything so toxic unless there’s compelling evidence. So to be clear, I am not amongst the wilder fringes of the net insinuating against Charles.

But clearly, the legal process does not hold them to account.

Here we have a man who  no-one can question, but he readily admits he was deceived. A man who’s always ready to lecture us on ‘duty’, but REFUSED to give a legal statement to the Independent Inquiry on Child Sexual Abuse.

Think about that for a second. An inquiry who’s stated aim is to ensure that children get ‘the care and protection from sexual abuse they need and deserve, now and in the future.’

Charles and legal staff REFUSE. A statement implies swearing an oath – and Charles lawyers shrugged, and said the court couldn’t compel him to release a statement. Why are they so concerned ?

Instead, they send a long letter, full of equivocation and ‘can’t remembers’ which was read out to everyones dissatisfaction.

One of the many things Charles couldn’t remember was who he was referring to in his letters when he told the Bishop he would  ‘see off this horrid man if he tries anything again’. How convenient.

After Savile, wasn’t there a collective moment when a shocked UK resolved that in the future, no stone would be left unturned, no matter who it upset ? Apparently not.

Before I bang the cyber gavel, , here’s a list of royal incidents where the current crop got away with it…

Prince Andrew rams gates to avoid 1 mile detour ( completely fine ).

Prince Harry out shooting, rare birds of prey shot in area…( nothing to see)

Prince Andrew goes to small house in London to meet with 17 year old girl who was trafficked across the Atlantic by a convicted paedophile ( seems legit )

_38495201_sketch150In fact the only court case where a member of Royal Family was held to account was when Princess Anne’s dog attacked a 7 year old and 12 year old, biting them on the collarbone and leg. Penalties for this crime could be a £5000 fine, 6 months in jail, and having the dog put down. Anne was told to pay £250 to each of the traumatised kids ( there’s no mention of an apology anywhere). The child biting bull terrier went home to eat steak. But a ended up eating one of the Queen’s corgis.

If you’re wanna be in the cool gang with the cool kids, please share this post on the Information Super Highway.

5 moments the royals proved they are Shit At Their Job.

The royals jobs description should be – Be a groomed toff, shake hands, smile and mute your thicko opinions. Some can do this ( *bows obscenely to Stepford Royal Wife Kate* ), some can’t.

Despite this imbecilic formula  – on an almost weekly basis they say something stupid, insensitive, offensive or utterly inappropriate. A pliant press fall over themselves to excuse their idiocy as ‘A Gaffe’ – as if, we should enjoy an Only Human moment of informality in the Buttock Tightened world of Royal Protocol.

Lets not call them ‘gaffes’. Lets call it Being Shit At Their Job

Racist, crass, embarassing and thick. Even his own son called him a bully.

Racist, crass, embarassing and thick. Even his own son called him a bully.

1. Prince Phillip bullies a wee boy to tears – at Salford University, Phil the Bullying Tyrant (  © Prince Charles ) meets a 13 year old kid who tells him he wants to be an astronaut. “You could do with losing weight” judges a man who lived his life in a palace surrounded by unctuous yesmen.

Poor Wee Fella. Horrible Old Shit.

The kid said afterwards “‘The other people were laughing but I didn’t find it a very good joke because I am sensitive about my weight. I felt like crying but I had to keep a strong face.”.

Poor wee Strong Face. PRINCE PHILLIP YOU’RE SHIT AT YOUR JOB.

Man of the (rich) people

Man of the (rich) people

2. Prince Andrew a Diplomatic Disaster: He turns up at Lockerbie and tells a grieving community that ‘it was much worse for the americans’. His best pals include a paedosadist ( see my vitriolic blog post Barely Regal ) and Gaddafi’s son. His marriage was an embarassment, ( 500k ? To be instroduced to Prince Andrew ? WHAT ? )  there’s the highly dubious  sale of his crass crappy house and the American government is laughing at his sheer stupidity as revealed in Wikileaks. He’s an arrogant talentless clown, and possibly a criminal. He was sacked from his role, but mummy slapped another medal on him and  he’s still wheeled out as if he’s working for the UK. Oh, and in case you’re all sadface for unemployed Andy,  this minger just spunked £13m on a ski chalet. Love the royals ? Then you Love His Pudgy Face and Want To Kiss Him with his dirty big venison breath tongue in yours. PRINCE ANDREW IS SHIT AT HIS JOB ( & should be questioned by the cops )

Dish du Jour

Actually, Anne, I’ll just have tea & a  biscuit

3. Prince Anne – Let Them Eat Horses – this is just one of those bizarre things posh people say. And it was pronounced at a moment when cheap horse meat had been found in poor peoples food, it was insulting .I mean, Anne doesn’t say much, so it was bizarre that this equine-a-holic blurted out that we should be eating Black Beauty. “If it doesn’t fart or eat hay she isn’t interested” said Prince Phillip ( ok, Revolters, we can admit that’s quite funny from the oul’ goat). PRINCESS ANNE – YOU’RE ACTUALLY OK AT BEING A MUTE TOFF BUT YOUR SHIT AT DINNER ADVICE.

68a9ae0c-9445-11e4-_831356b4. I’m not racist, I even pretend to be a half caste – Princess Michael of Kent once opined. This was defending herself after barking at black people in New York restaurant to ‘go back to the colonies’. Of course toffs being racist is indulged and overlooked in a way it would never be for ordinary folk. But even at that …Princess Michael of Kent is a Royal Idiot amongst Royal Idiots.  When trying to defend Prince Harry after nazi-gate ( Nazi Gate part I)  she said ‘most of the English believe the wogs begin at Calais’.  She said public breast feeding was a ‘dreadful practice’ and adding that she didn’t breastfeed because ‘my nanny said it was disgusting’. This horrible ol’ trout  may be a fringe royal but she is still patron of many charities and we’re supposed to tug the forelock to her…PRINCESS MICHAEL OF KENT, YOU’RE SHIT AT YOUR JOB.

5. Prince William – Lets Mock the Poorest  Having attended Eton ( poshest of posh), then St Andrews ( strategically forced to go to Scotland – think about it – to attend posh university ), then Sandringham ( posh army thing ) Prince

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Nastyness in the Heir

William and his posh officer mates dressed up as…. Britain’s poorest people ! What snobs call ‘a chav’. Hilarious ! Imagine being poor ! We will mock them for not having any of the opportunities and privileges we take for granted ! Ha Ha they wear cheap jewellery not the Crown Jewels ! And William even brandished a baseball bat – yeah that’s right, the poor are feral savages with violent tendencies…He’s NOT EVEN POOR, in fact he’s going to be the fuckin’ King ! What a LAUGH ! Geddit ? PRINCE WILLIAM – SHIT AT YOUR JOB.

Of course they don’t have to be good at their jobs. You and I can’t have their jobs. No one can. Your children can’t have Prince George’s job. In fact, Prince George can’t even have another job.
KNOW YOUR PLACE – either suck right up to those Windsors… or actively tell them where to shove it…
As ever, be a revolting dude or a revolting duderino and share via Facebook or Twitter. We’re up against relentless royal propaganda at all times.
Sharing this makes you like social media version of Che Guevara. And one retweeter will get a free motorbike!*
*not true.

Prince Andrew – Barely Regal…..

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Prince Andrew, is repellent.

There are many scandals associated with the boorish, rude, cocky clown ( just remember he represents ‘us’ around the world. *slow clap*).

There’s the fact that he sold his crappy tasteless house in circumstance that reek of corruption…..

And that you could buy an audience with him….

And that a man on a ‘modest naval pension’ this year bought a ski chalet for £13m ?

But for the sake of brevity, lets focus on the most obvious scandal.

I’m quoting from this excellent article in Vanity Fair….

As the article reveals, in 2010, a journalist called Buckingham palace and revealed they were about to publish an interview with….

a young woman named Virginia Roberts, who claimed that the billionaire American money manager Jeffrey Epstein had trained her as an under-age prostitute and flown her to London in 2001, when she was just 17 years old, for the express purpose of spending time with Prince Andrew “

“According to Virginia [ she was recruited ]  as Epstein’s “sex slave” when she was 15 years old and arranged for her to see Andrew three times, in London and New York and on Epstein’s private Caribbean island, Little Saint James. She said she’d been “sexually exploited by Epstein’s adult male peers, including royalty.”

This Photo. Will. Never. Go. Away.
This Photo. Will. Never. Go. Away.

None of this has been explained adequately. Study the incriminating sleazy photo of Andrew’s Windsor’s fat sweaty mitts on a vulnerable young girl who’s been trafficked to him – can you imagine any MP or public servant who’d survive such a sleazy snap ?  Without even being questioned about it ? The more recent ‘charges’ against Andrew may not be being pursued – but this is a technicality, not an exoneration.

Think about it. Look at her.

She’s a young girl. Who was groomed and exploited by a convicted paedophile. Was flown to London. And she was ‘given’ to Prince Andrew Duke of York. Or, in laymans term, a grotesque old rich pervert who thinks he’s above the law.

Can you think of an innocent explanation ? Why did Andrew go to meet her and why was a 17 year old  from Florida accompanied by Robert Maxwell’s daughter?

Fortunately for Grand Old Duke Of York, he’s not held to account because of the media’s supine attitude to royalty. In his presence royal “journalists” refuse to put him on the spot. Forget Monarchists versus Republicans, you’d hope that for the sake of a disturbed young woman they’d at least have the moral courage to ask….  ‘Mr Windsor – can you explain why a teenager was flown in a paedophile’s private jet to meet you in private ?’  (come to think of it – how is this ugly man actually allowed into schools and near young people ? ).

Virgina Roberts was 17 when she met 51 year old Prince Andrew. In UK terms, this doesn’t constitute a crime. But it sickens us all. Workers pay taxes and fund this sleazebag’s repellent lifestyle. Oh, and make sure you call him Your Royal Highness.

There are plenty of blogs online that will scream accusations against the royals of paedophilia. I am not one of them. It’s a heinous accusation and though there are many unanswered questions – there seems to be no actual evidence and my objection to the monarchy is political. But the Virginia Roberts story exposes how the secrecy laws surrounding the royal family – exempt from Freedom of Information requests allowed greater personal privacy that others – is horrific and unjust.

So what can be done ? Not a lot it seems. There was a suggestion of a BBC panorama about Andrew, but there’s no sign of it. The royal family arrogantly refused to even look at legal documents.

Of course, the blinkered fawning monarchists will declare that The Queen can run her household and discipline her children.

So what did Elizabeth Windsor do when her favourite son was accused of having a  groomed teenager trafficked to London for his use  ?

She gave him the highest medal for service to the queen.

Then, earlier this year, after the toxic scandal resurfaced, the queen…. made Andrew Vice Admiral of the Navy.

Amazingly, even some of the hardcore royal press pack were sickened….( this is the Express’s reporter’s tweet)

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Anyone reading our press would assume that we all have a bovine love and for the ugly toffs of the Windsor family.

So please retweet and share on facebook.

Don’t criticise the media, become the media.

Actually, you don’t like the royal family as much as you think you do…

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I sort of understand if you’re a daft  tourist visiting Britain, and you want to gawp at the weirdo freakazoid Brit monarchy (though of course the whole Good For Tourism thing is somewhat mythical ). But many smart, politically aware UK citizens Who-Should-Know-Better go slightly soft in the head when it comes to the Windsor Family.

So I’ve prepared a little diagnostic test to solidify your royal love….

1) Do you think snobbery – real and symbolic – should be celebrated ?

Despite the countless – gor blimey Prince ‘Arry’s just One of the Lads type coverage- The Monarchy is Built on Snobbery. The premise of the royal family is that these dullard poshos are inherently finer than anyone else, and therefore we must all bow, curtsey and call them Your Highness.

If you think ‘oh-mate-piss-off-with-that’ then… don’t indulge the monarchy.

Your granny might like the queen, but the queen thinks your lovely oul’ granny is a caste beneath her and insists on grovelling from all inferior blood….

If you write to the queen, you are advised to sign off – ‘I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty’s humble and obedient servant’. Thanks Betty, the media may love your Golden Reign….but not me…

1392633588315.cached Harry likes to shoot buffalo and poor people in afghanistan ( cause he’s good at playstation)

2) Do you like that our ‘ideal family’ kill animals for Toff Fun? Hilariously, the queen is the patron of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty To Animals – this Fig Leaf is a classic case of Who’s-Getting-The-Endorsement here ? Because the queen, her husband, her sons, her grandsons love nothing more than killing animals with other florid faced hooray henrys. Prince Phillip ( patron, World Wildlife Fund ) is particularly unrepentant – loving blasting the fuck out of anything that moves, including a couple of tigers ( and don’t give me the That Was Then argument, it was hugely controversial even at the time).  And Prince Charles  – after a life of pampered luxury at our expense – threatened to leave Britain if democratically elected government banned fox hunting….still waiting Chuck….

By the way, that stupid scene in “The Queen” where Helen Mirren doesn’t shoot the deer ? HA ! Royals love shooting animals and show no compassion, the old royal dear would have blasted the poor Scottish deer and drank diana’s blood from it’s antlers. Or run it over in a tunnel with a white Fiat.

3) Do you approve of the Old Boys network ?

Prince Charles got into Cambridge University. His grades ? Oh, after an expensive education and every advantage in life, he got 2 A-levels a B and a C. Prince Edward too attended Cambridge with…a C and two D’s. Throughout life, these lazy thicko clowns cheat and are helped to avoid exposing their lack of talent. Obstacles are removed and meritocracy is trampled . Your friends, your children and you will not be allowed such leeway. And to make matters worse….patronage is alive and well, and they endorse other toffs..

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That’s right. That BBC article claims the Palace endorsed David Cameron. And we’re all laughing our way to the foodbank.

Thought ALL PILOTS in RAF were supposed to have perfect vision ? Thought ALL PILOTS in RAF were supposed to have perfect vision ?

4) Do you like rich lazy people who can never ever lose their job ?

When the royals turn up to open some NHS hospital they’ll never attend,  the BBC, the papers and the monarchists bore on about how amazingly hardworking they are ( yeah, forget the nurses / firemen etc, praise the toffs). But think about it –  typically, a royal engagement takes about 45 minutes. They Rolls Royce up, they are fawned over, they shake hands, they look bored. Then, they are whisked off again. That, is what the royal press calls ‘hard work’. They can sometimes manage 2 or 3 of these dullard appointments a day, and therefore at the end of the year proclaim how many Engagements they took on.

Prince William – after leaving the RAF ( early, costing taxpayer money)

worked only the equivalent of 46 days in a year. This was only revealed due to excellent work by Republic ( join here ). Poor William, his hard graft included two trips to the cinema, 14 to a show, sports event or theme park,  21 parties, 10 a dinners, 2 Church services. My heart bleeds….

Hard At Work In the Cinema. Back breaking toil in the Cinema

Nice work if you can get it. ( But you can’t. Unless you emerge from a magic Windsor vagina.)

On the other hand when they sit on their arse being tended to by a litany of butlers and servants, nobody complains. Or reports.

5) Do you think rich aristocrats should be allowed to abuse public funds ?

Most of these stories are hidden now due to the scandalous lack of accountability around the royal family, but there’s still plenty of evidence. Princess Anne used (funded) Queen’s helicopter cause she didn’t want to miss her beloved horses. You pay for that. The queen tried to use funds earmarked for her poorest citizens to heat her large empty palaces…Prince Andrew even allows his paedo pal to use RAF bases to land his private plane….

OK are we ready ?  WHO LOVES THE ROYAL FAMILY ?

Bueller ? Bueller ?

[ Everyday, the media publish relentless uncritical grovelling nonsense about the Windsors, so, in the interests of balance, please share this article on Facebook and Twitter ]

7 Reasons to Revolt against All This Royal Bum Dribble

1) They’re unreformed snobs. You are supposed to sycophantically BOW or CURTSEY when you meet these thick dullards. I mean, c’mon  people, show some self respect. Brits strut about claiming they take No-shit from anyone yet grovel and tug their forelock when faced with Prince Andrew’s beefy visage ?  If your inner serf can’t help it and you do want to bow –  be consistent, and bow to every posh rich aristocrat you meet. If you can’t grovel in person, and you want to write to the queen – the official website recommends you sign off with ‘I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty’s humble and obedient servant’.

Wiggo shows what a Rebel He Is, by, er...kneeling and bowing  at the Establishment Petting Zoo

Wiggo shows what a Rebel He Is, by, er…kneeling and bowing at the Establishment Petting Zoo

2) They’re EXPENSIVE and our funds are used to keep them in pampered luxury. Of course the BBC will trot out the old Buckingham Palace bollocks about ONLY £36 million a year ( even that – for ONE FAMILY !)  equating it with costing a few  pennies per ‘umble serf per week. This is deeply disingenuous, but of course, they face no scrutiny.  Other European monarchy’s cost much less. Republic  ( yes, you should join ) estimate that the true cost to taxpayer- including security, and royal visits is at least 9 TIMES that at nearly £300m. And for this, they get servants to squeeze toothpaste onto their toothbrush

3) They’re EMBARRASSINGLY CRAP AT THEIR “JOB”.  So basically, their job is to nod and smile and be pleasant – how come the queen is such a sour faced trout every-time she appears ? Of course BBC multi-cam directors don’t often cut to her dour dish, but occasionally a revealing shot slips through and she often looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp.queenolympics I mean, fair enough, if I was watching a sycophantic  sex offender singing a crap song, I too might be bored, but Liz, for fucks sake, it’s your job to at least look like you’re enjoying sitting on your arse in the finest seat at your party / the Olympic opening ceremony / new year at the millennium dome. We only catch a glimpse of the Crown Frown inadvertently on live TV spectacles, and the press only print pics of beaming Betty. As for royal diplomacy, well, Charles just compared Putin to Hitler, and if you’re looking at them as role models, then there’s Prince Andrew, who’s repulsive paedophile friend flew a vulnerable teenage girl across the world for a private meeting with Andrew.  Crap at events, crap role models. That only leaves waving. They can wave from luxury limos, I’ll give them that.

4) They’re Naff. I mean some tolerate them as – supposedly – They Bring In The Tourists. This is highly dubious in any case, but my point is… just look at them – do you want the UK being defined  globally by a sycophantic culture

So Coool.

of deference to some corn-beef cheeked inbred toffs ? Do  intelligent England fans not cringe at every international where they got to sing about ‘send her victorious / happy and glorious / long to reign over us’ ? If you’re not cringing already, here’s an American giving the whole thing a kicking….

5) They Cement the 1% – repeat after me – “the thickest, laziest, dumbest royal will be given more influence and respect than the smartest most hardworking person I know…”. You and I can never be royal ( cue ), and They can never be sacked. They are at the top of the class pyramid. They get promoted in the military. They cheat at school. They secretly think people should not try to rise above their station. And sadly, lots of feeble minded forelock tuggers think This Is The Natural Order Of Things.  The whole ‘tradition’ argument, their enormous wealth, and the ridiculous idea that we must automatically respect them acts as a useful fig leaf for a society where the richest are not challenged nor asked to redistribute.

6) It’s Cruel – a tiny bit of sympathy for them here – they’re born into a feudal freakshow. That wee baby George has almost no say in his future – his course in life is to be a Windsor. The boy who’s born to be king, is cursed. Any parent ( with the amount of money William & Kate have) worth their salt would up and leave.

7) This photograph

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Please share this article were ‘soft monarchists’ can read it. The Windsors get effusive praise almost every day from every newspaper, and nobody makes the argument against their duffness.  We need to rattle the golden cages….