A very very rich old woman has been the Head of State of the UK for 70 years.

This very un-meritocratic fact been heralded as a cause for ‘The Nation’ to ‘Celebrate’. But really – it’s an opportunity to get out there and spread the rebel gospel of Republicanism.

So when you find yourself half-cut at some dismal jubilee party, and Fat Eddie is spearing a ‘British banger’ from the barbecue ( ‘lemme try one of these bad boys’ ) then do step in and cause an argument. Here’s some starters for 10..

FIRSTLY – Monarchy is unfair, unaccountable, snobby and anti-modern: What you’re celebrating, is the fact that neither you nor anyone else will ever be given the opportunity of the huge salary, incredible prestige and vast benefits of being Head of State. Only the Windsor Family. Now and for generations.

Look at the kids running about on jubilee day and think – Monarchy is a System that decrees that Royal Kids are inherently better than all other kids. That no matter how hard they work, no matter how talented they are, no matter how smart – other kids – your kids ! – will never have the the influence, wealth or privileges that the royal family are given automatically & without any accountability. You wanna actually celebrate that outrageous unfairness at the very centre of British public life ? Bunting up for…bloodlines ? For hereditary wealth and power ?

(oh, if Fat Eddie wheels out the ol’ OH I SUPPOSE YOU’D PREFER PRESIDENT BLAIR / BORIS )

Secondly…The Queen is an Icon of Inequality and Tory Values: Look at the most slavish devotees to the queen and the monarchy – they are without doubt, the right of the British politics. The royal family were a weapon in the culture war before we knew the term Culture War. This jubilee – and all the weddings, funerals and coronations – glamourise class inequality and legitimise the hoarding of huge amounts of wealth and property. The royals do personify Right Wing Britain – all white, all born in private hospitals, educated at Eton, all army loving, all rich and forever landrovering off to shoot things.

No wonder Ress Mogg, Farage, the DUP & the Tories have a royal fetish. Events like jubilees are partially about indoctrination, about labelling Royal values as British values.

And thirdly….just…..Don’t be an Imbecile: I mean c’mon folks – the monarchy has long since ceased to be a Fairy Story ( Virgina Guiffre descibed her teenage encounter with a Prince thus – “It didn’t last very long, the whole entire procedure. It was disgusting”). History has shown that Edward – the Duke of Windsor – was a Hitler fan who fed information to the Nazis & encouraged them to bomb London. Prince Charles is plainly thick & arrogant, and Prince William is reputed to be bad tempered and lazy.

Sometimes people feel a patriotic duty to enjoy the sillyness of the monarchy, but it’s not harmless. It’s toxic, it’s institutionally racist, it venerates wealth, it entrenches hierarchy and it deserves to be called out.

The Monarchy have armies of taxpayer funded PR & and are surrounded by right wing fawning media who hype up every tiny achievement and minimise or ignore every idiotic remark or crass decision.

So, spread the word.

Please share these moderately challenging notions on Facebook and elsewhere. Annoy Fat Eric.