Sure, it’s a blunt instrument, but fuckin’ hell, they’ve got the Red Arrows, the press, the BBC and the a budget of millions and they bribe people a special bank holiday to ensure they get a cheer.
But Booing works. A few brave Boo’s can change an event in seconds.
Prince William looked like the chancer he was after his perfunctory Grenfell tower visit.
No-one really asks our opinions on the royal family. There’s very little room to show dissent, to publically display republicanism.
Booing at jubilees and weddings, I admit that’s ambitious. But when the toffs come to patronise us, to working class culture, we should all….BOOOOOOOOOO
BOOOOOOOO TO BRIBES AND SECRECT
BOOOOOOOO TO RACISM
BOOOOOOOOOOOO TO CLASS CONDITIONING
And voila, the royals will stop turning up for big public events. Monarchy, generally do not feel comfortable
BOOOOOO
Give me a cheer. And do share on the Facebook & Twitter
A very very rich old woman has been the Head of State of the UK for 70 years.
This very un-meritocratic fact been heralded as a cause for ‘The Nation’ to ‘Celebrate’. But really – it’s an opportunity to get out there and spread the rebel gospel of Republicanism.
So when you find yourself half-cut at some dismal jubilee party, and Fat Eddie is spearing a ‘British banger’ from the barbecue ( ‘lemme try one of these bad boys’ ) then do step in and cause an argument. Here’s some starters for 10..
FIRSTLY – Monarchy is unfair, unaccountable, snobby and anti-modern: What you’re celebrating, is the fact that neither you nor anyone else will ever be given the opportunity of the huge salary, incredible prestige and vast benefits of being Head of State. Only the Windsor Family. Now and for generations.
Look at the kids running about on jubilee day and think – Monarchy is a System that decrees that Royal Kids are inherently better than all other kids. That no matter how hard they work, no matter how talented they are, no matter how smart – other kids – your kids ! – will never have the the influence, wealth or privileges that the royal family are given automatically & without any accountability. You wanna actually celebrate that outrageous unfairness at the very centre of British public life ? Bunting up for…bloodlines ? For hereditary wealth and power ?
Secondly…The Queen is an Icon of Inequality and Tory Values: Look at the most slavish devotees to the queen and the monarchy – they are without doubt, the right of the British politics. The royal family were a weapon in the culture war before we knew the term Culture War. This jubilee – and all the weddings, funerals and coronations – glamourise class inequality and legitimise the hoarding of huge amounts of wealth and property. The royals do personify Right Wing Britain – all white, all born in private hospitals, educated at Eton, all army loving, all rich and forever landrovering off to shoot things.
No wonder Ress Mogg, Farage, the DUP & the Tories have a royal fetish. Events like jubilees are partially about indoctrination, about labelling Royal values as British values.
And thirdly….just…..Don’t be an Imbecile: I mean c’mon folks – the monarchy has long since ceased to be a Fairy Story ( Virgina Guiffre descibed her teenage encounter with a Prince thus – “It didn’t last very long, the whole entire procedure. It was disgusting”). History has shown that Edward – the Duke of Windsor – was a Hitler fan who fed information to the Nazis & encouraged them to bomb London. Prince Charles is plainly thick & arrogant, and Prince William is reputed to be bad tempered and lazy.
Sometimes people feel a patriotic duty to enjoy the sillyness of the monarchy, but it’s not harmless. It’s toxic, it’s institutionally racist, it venerates wealth, it entrenches hierarchy and it deserves to be called out.
The Monarchy have armies of taxpayer funded PR & and are surrounded by right wing fawning media who hype up every tiny achievement and minimise or ignore every idiotic remark or crass decision.
So, spread the word.
Please share these moderately challenging notions on Facebook and elsewhere. Annoy Fat Eric.
The Windsor family are handed an extraordinary and obscene amounts of money that’s ultimately from our pocket via taxation. They are just one family and they required £142.4 million in 2019.
But £142.4 million, it would appear, is not enought to fill their grasping velvet mitts.
The Windsor family are courted by the vulgar, the wealthy, oily corporate types. Stupidly rich people.
These people are the Royals peers – their contact with the ‘real world’ of business. As a result, useless dotards like Prince Andrew are desperately keen to be seen as Players in the Big Dick Business Game – it might impress his friend Peter Jones.
[ Funnily enough, the smug Dragon doesn’t boast so much about being Prince Andrew’s friend these days. *Duncan voice* Ahm Owt ]
But Arrogant Baby Man Andy wants to prove that he IN HIS OWN RIGHT is one of the dynamic and streetwise movers and shakers. Of course, the spoiled royals aren’t used to rules, laws and haven’t a clue about commercial cut’n’thrust.
Ker-ching for a Day..
Prince Andrew acted as a broker for a Kazakh Oligarch who was desperate to buy a home from the Queens estate.
Co-in-ci-dentally at the same time…. he sells his horrible shitty house to….the very same Kazakh Oligarch for £15m ( £3m pounds over the asking price for a house that no-one else wanted ) Fancy that !
The Oligrach was so thrilled with his purchase….that err…he never even visited SouthYork – and bulldozed the whole place a few years later.
[ this information was revealed through a Freedom of Information request, but…now the royals are exempt from FOI requests ]
Fergie sells access to Andrew
In a tabloid sting, Fergie demanded the Fake Sheik wire half a million quid to her account …saying that this would “open any door you want, and I will for you…look after me and he’ll look after you”. Maybe the FBI should get in touch with Fergie to help prise those palace gates open.
Fergie also took money from Epstein – £15,000. Significantly, this was AFTER he came out of prison. I mean, you’re in the public eye, you need some money – who do you turn to ? A high profile convicted paedophile of course !
She later said – “I abhor peadophilia and any sexual abuse of children and know that this was a gigantic error of judgment on my behalf. I am just so contrite I cannot say”. Oh boo-hoo- but HE WAS A CONVICTED PAEDOPHILE AT THE TIME AND YOU STAYED IN HIS HOUSE, AND POCKETED HIS MONEY you crass imbecile.
The Fence, Camilla – who’s nephew also sells access – and Chaz
Get a Gong from Prince Charles – Slightly different route, but still a transaction. You are a wealthy Saudi for example – you make a huge donation to one of Prince Charles’s charities, and Charles’s fixer Michael Fawcett – will arrange an honour for you. Or in posh-speak the honours “will be made in response to the most recent and anticipated support [of] The Trust, and in connection with his ongoing commitment generally within the United Kingdom”.
Funny how the Palace and the press always credit the royals for their “hands on” work with charity. Then there’s the sniff of corruption and suddenly Mercy Me – oh no Prince Charles knows nothing about the day to day operation of the charity. ( in this specific case it doesn’t ring true at all)
Duke of Kent will get you access to Putin – quite the bargain at £50,000 for a week – or, if you want the full package – £143,000 for an recorded speech endorsement by the Duke himself. You might of wondered – who is this guy and what does he do ? Well, he does very little and he charges a lot. ( very weird that he offers access to Putin !)
Sophie will get Edward to appear at your function. As she argued in 2001 – ‘For instance, in your own country when people find we’re working for you, the chances are you’ll get people interested: Oh gosh, they’ve employed the Countess of Wessex’s PR company.’ ( she had to resign when this came out)
These are just a few examples, and the few that we know about. There’s a smell from Prince Andrew’s Pitch at the Palace, and how does he have enough money to buy ski chalets and fly around in Private Jet ?
But – for no good reason – The Royal family are also blanketed in ridiculous secrecry – we’re allowed to know nothing, there is no transparancy – they’re protected never called to account for their actions.
please share this blog on The Twit and especially Facebook
A much loved National Figurehead. And Prince William.
From their Private Jets, emerging from their huge palaces, leaning out of their landrover windows – the Royal Family love to lecture us that WE must do something to save the planet.
The unfolding Environmental Catastrophe does need urgently addressed. It is indeed the most cataclysmic threat of our time.
Prince Charles egotistically bores around claiming that he invented environmentalism and Royal PR eagerly shoves the Queen alongside David Attenborough and comes up with documentaries like The Queen’s Green Planet. Attenborough should place a stalking restriction on Prince William, as baldy is always elbowing in like they are bezzies.
But Oxfam tells us, that – in fact – the worlds Wealthiest 1% were responsible for more than double the emissions of the poorest 50%
Do the royal family question multinationals ? Do they critique captialism ? Do they set any sort of example by downsizing out of a palace ? Do they cut back on private jets, or even stop flying altogether ? Do they even do low bar gestures like stop burning their Grouse Moors up at Balmoral ?
Do they point out that the Rich are Disproportionately responsible for the mess of the planet ? They’re pals with Richard Branson, do they point at him and say – it’s his fault ?
Of course not.
Prince William goes with the golf club bar idiocy theory – too many people . The offensive idea being if there weren’t so many babies being born in Africa having children then Willy and his polo playing chums could continue to swan about in their Landrover Discoverys.
Father of 3, Prince William, criticises population growth
In 2020 Prince Charles was giving a speech to scientists in Cambridge about the need to lower aircraft omissions. Charles arrived in a private helicopter.
This is refusing to make any effort whatsoever, even if it means having to actually interfere to change the law.
The richest people, are demonstrably, most responsible for the climate.
The Royal Family are apologists and legitimisers of the rich. They are friends with Plutocrats and Oil sheiks.
Don’t tell US what to do. Tell the Sultan of Bruei. Tell your royal pals in Kuwait, in UAE. Tell Qatari Royal Family.
I did love when Greta Thunberg met Chaz though. No fawning. No curtseying. No primped up in a stupid dress. Greta looked at him in a – This is a Waste of Everyone’s Time way ( of course reported sycophantically as a meeting of minds)
The Royal Family are occasionally right about the environment.
But by championing it, they immediately depoliticise the issue. They are symbols of conservative culture. They enable corporations. With no qualifications or expertise, Prince Charles – and now William – lecture us from their yachts and palaces.
Maybe when they close down their huge palaces, when they refuse to fly in private jets, or in first class, or in jets, or at all – when they replace their convoys of Bentley’s and Rolls Royces with a bike…
So The Monarchy are ‘considering’ appointing a ‘Diversity Tsar’. *(SEE UPDATE BELOW)
This is reported with a straight face. Nobody splutters into their tea and says WHHHHHHAAAAT ?
The Monarchy is predicated on aristocratic concept of bloodlines.
This toxic belief means that Prince Andrew, Prince Edward, Prince William and the other useless dullards are seen as inherently superior to you. That their posh sprogs are inherently better suited to being head of state than your common (crappy) children. Because they have royal blood.
This, in effect means the thickest, laziest, most corrupt member of the royal family, will automatically have more influence, more clout, more privilege than the most talented, cleverest, working class kid from Brixton, Motherwell or Wrexham.
Think about the modes of adddress…when you write to the queen or their royal “Highnesses” you are advised – on their official page – to sign off with “‘I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty’s humble and obedient servant”.
The whole Firm is based on snobbery – this is a family who have to Bow and Curtsy to ONE ANOTHER in a hirearchicial way. Imagine – you nip for a piss in buck house in the middle of the night and bump into your po-faced ol’ granny and you have to curtsey ?
Whatsmore, this family of damaged, arrogant, posh aristocrats believe themself to be superior to everyone else. That they are literally anointed by God. They embody exclusivity, not diversity. Their divine right means everyone else is below them.
Think of someone you admire, respect, love.
Then dwell for a moment on the fact that the UK consitution believes that Prince Andrew is automatically and without question superior to that person.
When Prince William married Kate (who is from a wealthy family) it was the first time that a royal had married ‘a commoner’. There was a lot of embarassing grovelling praising this as ‘modern’.
yeah, whatever mate.
What’s this Diversity Tsar going to say ? Maybe rent some diversity to stand on the Royal Balcony on ceremonial occasions? Adopt someone from ‘the colonies’ ?
For clarity – in our lifetime – Britain’s head of state will not be……Catholic ( illegal ), Jewish, Muslim, atheist, Hare Krishna, scientologist, Hindu, black, asian…the whole point is it’s a family racket. Given that the whole inheritable position is predicated on the monarch producing a bloodline heir, then it’s unlikely that anyone gay would be allowed to take the throne either.
The Royal Family may or may not be racist. But the Monarchy is racist in practice.
So it’s White Toff Charles. White Toff Wills. White Toff George ( if George has to wait as long for the throne as 72 year old Charles – that means white Windsor men to the year 2086. )
Windsor Supremacy, is the entire point. They can’t advocate for Equality, whilst they embody inequality.
UPDATE: In June 2021, it was quietly revealed that…in fact.. having surveyed the entirely white entirely straight, entirely upperclass institution the palace decided that they didn’t need a Diversity Tsar after all! Fancy that !) – in fact, it appears the queen was actually Nelson Mandela.
yeah…right.
We can’t gather and storm the palace. So please share on Facebook and the like.
The British Trust for Ornithology recently appointed Prince William as its patron. The trust’s slogan is ‘Looking Out For Birds”.
Here is Prince William Looking Out For Birds.
NSPCC had “The Paedophiles Friend” Prince Andew as patron of its Full Stop Campaign. Here is Prince Andrew taking a keen interest in a child ( to be fair, NSPCC since distanced themselves publically)
Prince Phillip was the first President of the World Wildlife Fund.
Here is Prince Phillip proudly posing beside a very rare tiger he shot dead..
The Queen mother became patron of Mencap in 1986. Here are is one of her mentally disabled neices she refused to acknowledge, never visited and was happy to pretend they were dead.
There are countless other examples. Why the ROYAL Society for the prevention of Cruelty to Animals, when the Royal family are enthusiastic and unrepentent on bloodsports ? Why do Centrepoint gush about patron Prince William when the royals epitomise the inequality in housing in the UK with empty palaces throughout the land? Princess Eugenie actually started an Anti-Human Slavery Charity to stop trafficking of young women. Good for you -Eugenie – but maybe you could tell us if your father took you to Pizza Express as he claimed ? ( How weird is it that his daughters won’t confirm his pathetic alibi ?)
The Royal Family are damaged people – arrogant, self centred and out of touch. They’re frequently idiotic, crass, and with no real world experience.
The slabbery monarchist declares ‘they do a lot of good work for charity’.
But they don’t.
According to this blog, Royal Patronage does not profer any tangible financial benefit upon the chosen charities. The research also found that the charities with royal patronage were disproportionately in the South East and South West of England ( close to one’s palaces & servants).
So who does benefit from all this Charidee work?
The Royal family of course.
They don’t use the NHS, and they name hospitals after them.
They like to hunt so then sad face for animal charities
They entrench & legitimise the class system, so they foreground their names on social mobility schemes.
Some of these charities do excellent work, and should be supported. But their excellent work shouldn’t be a Moral Beard for a bunch of feckless Toffs who owe their entire existence to taxpayers and ‘tradition’.
So, fellow proles, do a wee charity gig for me.
Post this link on Facebook. Retweet it. Call out this state of stupidity.
The economy is on the brink. The country is in deep shit. Yet the Royal family’s huge income goes up by £200,000 to £82.4 million.
The docile and the easily duped will argue in vague terms about ‘up keep of palaces’ and ‘state functions’ but of course, there’s no real accountability. You, my friend, cannot just find out how your money is spent. The press won’t rattle any cages. The BBC tug their forelock.
The government(s) are handing over money ( our– money ) to the Queen and her family, who are already obscenely wealthy. They spend our money on steak for the corgis, and flying FBI Suspect and abuser of trafficked girls, Prince Andrew, to watch golf. They spent £3.2m on a new helicopter.
And if these lavish sums are going into ‘palace upkeep’, well how come the Windsor familly required another £369m to refurbish Buckingham Palace ( oh and they’re asking for another £20m on top of that ). Give us more money cause one spaffed the last lot on horse racing and range rovers.
It’s utterly obscene. It is an deliberate attempt to legitimise – to glamourise – hideous inequality. The royal family, in part, is about conditioning people to wave their flags and embrace the fact that toffs have golden pianos, and poor kids have foodbanks.
Here’s Our Graeme From @republic explaining how Prince Charles earns £38,000 per hour.
The default assumption is always that we all are happy serfs. Don’t be a happy serf.
Raise awarness. Cause a fuss. Nicholas Witchell’s never going to say this stuff. So please share this blog on your Facebook and the like.
If you’re going to try to make an rational argument for having a symbolic head of states – someone who’s role it is to lift moral, to inspire and set an example – then a crisis like covid is time for them to SHOW THEIR WORTH.
Yet the Windsor family have been as much use as an inflatable dart board.
In early March, at the very moment the public needed to begin to take the threat seriously, Prince William “joked” about it being over hyped by the media.
ha fuckin’ ha
Did he not get his brief ? Was he too lazy to read it ? Was he badly advised? You might think, it was just an off the cuff comment – but his job is to make sure that he doesn’t say anything dumb at vital moments. And he failed.
[ UPDATE: In fact, as events turned out, it is possible that Prince William WAS actually spreading Coronavirus at this very moment, as a matter of weeks later he was diagnosed with Covid. Which, in a staggering display of contempt for other people – whom he may have encountered – he kept secret. So much for role model. ]
3 weeks later, Prince Charles did set an example. Despite feeling the first symptoms, ignoring Government guidelines, and the First ministers declaration that ‘Scotland was shut to tourists’ – Prince Charles swanned into Balmoral, and promptly declared he had Covid. He brought his entourage with him.
At a time when doctors couldn’t get tested, both Prince Charles and Camilla were immediately tested (by the NHS, maybe the first time the Prince has deigned to accept non-private treatment). Despite him declaring he had only mild symptoms.
The queen bolted straight into the first Rolls Royce departing London, and largely disappeared from view, until she popped up in a palace, and delivered a bland speech in a bland fashion, where sycophantic reporters declared “I defy anyone not to have a lump in their throat”. Lets be honest, it was pedestrian at best. Citing Vera Lynn and comparing the situation to the war is Paint By Numbers right wing crying boy.
She didn’t clap for carers. Presumably that was considered too far.
It’s easy you just bang your forelimnbs together
A recovering Prince Charles and Camilla showed themselves awkward and unable to master the basic skill of clapping for ordinary people.
Since then Das Windsors have continued to show their lack of impact. William and Kate fwah fwahing to people in care homes looks tokenistic. Harry and Megz letting out a long bleating book isn’t a good look. Prince Andrew, however, is probably pleased at the distraction.
The point is, This Should Be Their Moment – where they’re able to show sympathy for those who’ve lost loved ones, and try to inspire the rest of the country to unite and care for one another. This should be the moment it’s difficult to make and argument against the monarchy.
Ha. They’re useless. Pull them out of their posh palaces, and make them clean hospitals.
Fight viruses. Get rid of parasites. Build back better.
Before anything, let me express my sympathy and support for the women and girls who were enslaved and abused. Virginia Giuffre ( formerly Roberts) and other girls / young women – your innocence, your vulnerability were exploited by powerful men, and you deserve justice.
In speaking out you are heroic, courageous and to be supported. I believe what your saying and am in awe of your resilience.
Beyond the personal trauma this criminal episode, exposes the whole monarchy, not just Prince Andrew.
The Questions that need answered….
Did the Royal Family / the government / the Queen know about Prince Andrew’s visits to Epstein’s island ? To his mansion in New York ?
Who did his security detail ( who we pay for ) report to and what did they say ? (“Prince on island with lots of teenage girls and sleazy men. Some of girls may be underage.” ?)
Was there a reluctance to confront the Duke with his behaviour? After all he is notoriously a boor and shouts at anyone who questions him ?
If the authorties / royal family / establishment knew what was going on – what did they do about it ? Anything ?
There is a toxic, corrupting secrecy around the Royal Family, and we are allowed to know almost nothing, despite paying for almost everything. They are exempt from Freedom of Information. We’re not allowed to know.
It’s one thing to argue that they are entitled to secrecy because why-should-the-public-know-how much-one’s-holidays cost – but quite another, when the secrecy is harnessed to protect them from being questioned about a very serious and ugly crime. Abuse. That’s the word. Abuse.
Stop and think about this for a moment.
The most reviled and hideous paedophile in the UK in decades was Jimmy Savile. Who Prince Charles counted as a good friend and advisor.
The most reviled and notorious paedophile in US currently was Jeffrey Epstein. Who Prince Andrew counted as a good friend and holiday buddy ( even after his conviction).
Prince Andrew was a patron of the NSPCC ( National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children) who campaign against trafficking. UPDATE: NSPCC have since disowned Prince Andrew’s patronage since this article has been published.]
Charles Mountbatten Windsor and Andrew Mountbatten Windsor – arrogant, idiotic, sleazy men – we are told – REPRESENT US. We are told they are role models. We are requested to call them Your Royal Highness. We are expected to pay for their life of luxury.
Doesn’t that make you wince ? Make you angry ?
So here’s the news….The Queen is going to die soon.
So make a stand. She’s must be the last monarch. Argue, cause embarrassment, rattle cages, exploit the up and coming political shitstorm.
No more royals. No more Feudalism. No more secrecy. No more golden carriages and slobbering royal weddings.
[ and if you could kick off the rebellion by ReTweeting or Sharing this article on Facebook, then you will be awarded the Revolting Subject Medal of Showing some Spine in an Obsequious world]
Day after day we’re sold the fiction that the Royal Family – and in particular The Queen – is some sort of ever present po faced Demi God. But, you know what….she’s gonna go….
Elizabeth Windsor was born in 1926. Phillip Mountbatten was born in 1921. Phil’s gone…and soon…
. There’ll be a clamour for wailing peasants and tearful celebrities on an unprecedented scale. The black ties that BBC reporters carry with them, will be donned as part of Operation London Bridge .
Your Revolting Scribe here feels sympathy for any human being who dies, and it’s not a great look to be actively cheering on an Old Persons Death. Ultimately, a rich aristocrat who I never met, will have be gone and I won’t be in any way upset, but because I’m human – nor will I be leading a buckfast drinking Conga down the Mall.
But I will be resisting the compulsary sadfacing that is expected of us.
Because schedules will be cleared. The BBC will drop all comedy ( how dare you LAUGH at a time like this ?). Drippy music will be played even on Radio 1. The message will be clear – an posh old lady dying after a long life of luxury is a NATIONAL TRAGEDY.
How will this work with other news ? What if Betty pops her clogs on the same day as Brexit ? Or a horrible violent attack elsewhere? Or an hour before the Champions League final? How will the BBC cover differing reactions – Windsor will react in a very different way from the Falls Road Belfast, or Liverpool, or Glasgow….( answer – they won’t ).
[ a slightly odd Vanity Fair video about events]
The establishment knows, an interegnum, is a potentially volatile time. Whilst Republicans will be screamed at to show respect, the machinery of the establishment will kick in, ruthless ensuring that daring to even discuss the future of the monarchy is a sacriligous scandal. If we dare to ask if King Charles is really such a Good idea, the Royal Experts ( who already cashed in by signing exclusive deals to be part of Sky News rolling coverage) will declare we’re crass and hateful…
At the EXACT moment, when it’s vital to discuss whether The Monarchy should continue, UK Republicans will be told to be silent or be labelled callous opportunists.
I hope Republic have a plan for dealing with this, I hope Republican MPs speak up.
But in the age of social media, they can’t just declare that we’re ALL inconsolable weeping wrecks. We can make our voices heard. We can be visible. We have to say….
Sorry For Your Loss Windsors, But Lets Leave it There….
[ Please share this blog on Facebook, or elsewhere. Win the Revolution comes, you’ll get a free AIR BnB discount voucher for a Night in Balmoral*]
The royal family, should more accurately be called The London Royal Family. They never really leave their palaces in the exclusive parts of London.
The (very dubious) argument that they Are Good For Tourism should really read The Are Good For Tourism in Very Wealthy Parts of London.
There are however, transparently patronising attempts to win favour with the ‘regions’ of their kingdom….
The Prince of Wales ( lives in London )
The Duke of Edinburgh ( lives in London )
The Duchess of York ( lives in London )
not to mention the newly anointed…
Earl and Duchess ofDumbarton ( 175 Dumbarton Main Street – NAW !…only kidding. London. )
It’s a feeble distraction tactic by those who hold power. Could Duchess Meghan tell you a single fact about daily life in Dumbarton ?
But it is Scotland that’s most proving difficult for the PR spinners of the royal family. Because – despite being forced to stump up £35m a year – most Scots are not enchanted by the forelock tugging crap any more.
Rebellious Scots to Crush ( this is the 6th verse of God Save the Queen)
Some of our pals in England may wonder if Anti-Royal sentiment in Scotland is a symptom of a wider Anti-English feeling ? Nope, not the case – for most Independently minded Scots, the idea of Independence is motivated by democratic self respect ( is Scotland a country? Yes it is. Should the people of a country have the right to elect their own government ? Yes they should. See ? ), and to mischaracterise it as Anti-English is like Gammon Gavin the golf club moron braying that Feminism Is Just An Excuse to HATE MEN.
People in Scotland (including many of the English people who live here) want independence as a means to change society for the better.
That week in the marines where Edward won all those medals. And his kilt.
And whilst the SNP leadership characterise an Independent Scotland as retaining the Monarchy, it’s fig leaf- essentially trying to keep an older, more shortbread strain of Scottish electorate on board. Even campaigners for Scottish Independence don’t want to make Monarchy a foreground issue, because, why frighten off the hesitant pensioners and Sunday Post readers ?
But there’s very little love for the royal family in Scotland.
There was just ONE party in the entire country for Harry & Meghan’s wedding. There was no bunting for any of the royal weddings recently. When a brand new Glasgow Hospital was named after the queen, over 16,000 people signed a petition to object ( wrote about it here ). The Scotland fans sang ‘Oh I’d rather have a Panda Than A Prince.” Only 41% of Scots are supportive.
So what can the Royal Family do ? Prince Charles regularly dreary’s himself up in a kilt and writes crappy tales about Lochnigar, but the effect is patronising, rather than ingratiating. It reminds Scots of The Laird, the Hunting Shooting and Fishing class who own Scotland with the result that the landscape is deserted so that they can gammon together and shoot things.
Central to all this is Balmoral. The Aberdeenshire castle has always been a key part of the Royals Love Scotland narrative. When the royals stay at Balmoral, a piper plays outside every morning to wake them. So you know, they’re in touch with what life is like for people in Glasgow. In fact, the very romanticised, pantomime image of Scotland that Queen Victoria confected -has held Scotland back for years. We bought the Balmoralification of our culture, but not any more.
Enchanting picture of the Queen at learning Bal-morality as a kid
The Firm also have an oncoming generational problem – do we really think that Harry and William will want to spend every wet September in rural Aberdeenshire ? I very much doubt it. An attempt to win favour was made by sending Prince William to St Andrews – and this is emphasised on every occasion – but St Andrews is hardly typical of Scottish life. Anyway, he didn’t like it.
And most significantly of all, the Queen politically interfered in the most important democratic event in Scotland’s modern history. The one rule of being a ceremonial monarch is don’t abuse your position.
She abused her position. Remember that.
None of this is tangible in the Relentless Grovel Fest that passes for royal journalism, but it’s happening on the ground. We’re on the road to a Scottish Republic ! ( but shhh…don’t tell anyone )
Everyone, across the UK, is welcome to my 2025 Balmoral Scotland Republic Party ( hopefully in the next 5 years ). We’ll put on Prince Charles’s old kilts and drink malt whisky and rifle through the attic searching for Seig Heil pictures.
Everyday is Royal Propaganda Day in the Media. But NOW you’re gonna RT this or Facebookise it or be Luke Skywalker engaging with The Force for the first time.
Some otherwise reasonable and savvy people, are are Mushy Monarchists.
They talk the talk politically, but reserve the right to flop on the couch and wallow in a a tedious documentary about the Queen’s best pals all being horses.
The Mushy Monarchists justification runs thus…’oh come on it’s harmless pageantry and flags & good ol’ British tradition’. Such nonsense lets the upper classes sentimentalise inequality & repackage unpleasant snobbishness as charming character traits.
But this whimsical narrative is shattered when members of the royal family are revealed to be above the law, meddling and arrogant.
Prince Charles has long hung out with some dubious characters. Despite some desperate spinning by royal PR, Prince Charles’s long friendship with Jimmy Savile is undeniable, his life guru Laurens Van Der Post impregnated a 14 year old girl ( lets not forget that Van Der Post is Prince William’s godfather ). Recently, Charles sympathised with abusive bishop Peter Bell, lamenting the ‘monstrous wrongs that have been done to you’. He gave the Abusive Bishop money, and then a house “not too far from here so you can come over more easily”. Aww. That’s nice.
Of course none of this association implies Prince Charles himself is guilty of anything so sinister – I am politically opposed to The Windsors, but no-one should be accused of anything so toxic unless there’s compelling evidence. So to be clear, I am not amongst the wilder fringes of the net insinuating against Charles.
But clearly, the legal process does not hold them to account.
Here we have a man who no-one can question, but he readily admits he was deceived. A man who’s always ready to lecture us on ‘duty’, but REFUSED to give a legal statement to the Independent Inquiry on Child Sexual Abuse.
Think about that for a second. An inquiry who’s stated aim is to ensure that children get ‘the care and protection from sexual abuse they need and deserve, now and in the future.’
Charles and legal staff REFUSE. A statement implies swearing an oath – and Charles lawyers shrugged, and said the court couldn’t compel him to release a statement. Why are they so concerned ?
Instead, they send a long letter, full of equivocation and ‘can’t remembers’ which was read out to everyones dissatisfaction.
One of the many things Charles couldn’t remember was who he was referring to in his letters when he told the Bishop he would ‘see off this horrid man if he tries anything again’. How convenient.
After Savile, wasn’t there a collective moment when a shocked UK resolved that in the future, no stone would be left unturned, no matter who it upset ? Apparently not.
Before I bang the cyber gavel, , here’s a list of royal incidents where the current crop got away with it…
In fact the only court case where a member of Royal Family was held to account was when Princess Anne’s dog attacked a 7 year old and 12 year old, biting them on the collarbone and leg. Penalties for this crime could be a £5000 fine, 6 months in jail, and having the dog put down. Anne was told to pay £250 to each of the traumatised kids ( there’s no mention of an apology anywhere). The child biting bull terrier went home to eat steak. But a ended up eating one of the Queen’s corgis.
If you’re wanna be in the cool gang with the cool kids, please share this post on the Information Super Highway.
Making the case against the Monarchy often feels like pissing into royal wind. Because, to my astonishment, most people have an (unexamined) sentimental attachment to this feudal circus.
Not weirdos
Even obvious royal disasters like the queen interfering in the Scottish referendum or when the Windsors could barely manage to squeeze out a tear between them when poor oul Princess-Of-Hearts-England’s Rose In the Wind died…these awkward historical facts are hastily glossed over. Or sympathetically re-imagined featuring Helen Mirren.
Forlocks are tugged. Grovelling returns.
So for the rebel alliance, it often feels like things will never change – and indeed that is the point of the whole charade – for us plebs gaze at the palaces with half wit wonder and understand that They are immovable – THE ROCK OF MONARCHY on which the glorious UK caste system is constructed.
But then, things never change until they do.
So here’s a couple of republican reasons to be cheerful…
They try to pretend that Queeny is a near deity like in her existence, but she’s human. And she’s going to the Great Royal Enclosure in the sky soon enought (and please, be prepared for an orgy of orchestrated sad face ). And whilst I won’t cheer the death of another person, nor will I feel any sense of loss.Nor should you. You don’t know her either.
Which brings us to the First republican reason to be cheerful – that Charles is next in line, and he is clearly a pitiful ol’ toff with a head full of broken biscuits.
Please feel free to exercise your Republican Anti-Charles muscles here. He’s an unsympathetic character, he’s clumsy, he’s dull.
The second reason is that Harry Windsor’s said something genuinely intriguing – that not one of the Unremarkable Windsor Family actually wants to wear the crown, and that he nearly ran away from the circus.
Amazing. A FREE MAGIC DINOSAUR EGG!
This is not as satisfying a finale as you and I doing wheelies round the palace corridors whilst raiding the wine cellars, but we would accept their surrender.
Monarchy is a form of child abuse – not as some of the rumour-mongers would have it – but as in, being a royal kid is being brought up as a freak, with no options, no real freedom to grow, and surrounded by flunkeys. 12 year old Harry was forced to stiff upper lip behind his mother’s coffin. C’mon, that’s pretty traumatising. (Interesting that Chazza never even got a ‘thanks Dad’ in same interview)
And thirdly, the role of the right wing media is declining. For years the monarchy has received relentlessly fawning coverage in the newspapers. But who, under the age of 30, buys a newspaper? Social media is doesn’t do pull out souvenir specials.
And there’s only so many hammy Ant’n’Dec specials the royals can do.
So make your voice heard – tweet, facebook, declare yourself a republican. The only other option is to behave as if we already are a republic. When no-one watches royal specials, when no-one turns up at visits, then they’re already gone….
And finally….a self declared, proud republican very nearly became PM. Fancy that !
And to continue our rebellion …you could….y’know….share a link to this blog on Facebook or Tweeter ?
I sort of understand if you’re a daft tourist visiting Britain, and you want to gawp at the weirdo freakazoid Brit monarchy (though of course the whole Good For Tourism thing is somewhat mythical ). But many smart, politically aware UK citizens Who-Should-Know-Better go slightly soft in the head when it comes to the Windsor Family.
So I’ve prepared a little diagnostic test to solidify your royal love….
1) Do you think snobbery – real and symbolic – should be celebrated ?
Despite the countless – gor blimey Prince ‘Arry’s just One of the Ladstype coverage- The Monarchy is Built on Snobbery. The premise of the royal family is that these dullard poshos are inherently finer than anyone else, and therefore we must all bow, curtsey and call them Your Highness.
If you think ‘oh-mate-piss-off-with-that’ then… don’t indulge the monarchy.
Harry likes to shoot buffalo and poor people in afghanistan ( cause he’s good at playstation)
2) Do you like that our ‘ideal family’ kill animals for Toff Fun? Hilariously, the queen is the patron of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty To Animals – this Fig Leaf is a classic case of Who’s-Getting-The-Endorsement here ? Because the queen, her husband, her sons, her grandsons love nothing more than killing animals with other florid faced hooray henrys. Prince Phillip ( patron, World Wildlife Fund ) is particularly unrepentant – loving blasting the fuck out of anything that moves, including a couple of tigers ( and don’t give me the That Was Then argument, it was hugely controversial even at the time). And Prince Charles – after a life of pampered luxury at our expense – threatened to leave Britain if democratically elected government banned fox hunting….still waiting Chuck….
By the way, that stupid scene in “The Queen” where Helen Mirren doesn’t shoot the deer ? HA ! Royals love shooting animals and show no compassion, the old royal dear would have blasted the poor Scottish deer and drank diana’s blood from it’s antlers. Or run it over in a tunnel with a white Fiat.
3) Do you approve of the Old Boys network ?
Prince Charles got into Cambridge University. His grades ? Oh, after an expensive education and every advantage in life, he got 2 A-levels a B and a C. Prince Edward too attended Cambridge with…a C and two D’s. Throughout life, these lazy thicko clowns cheat and are helped to avoid exposing their lack of talent. Obstacles are removed and meritocracy is trampled . Your friends, your children and you will not be allowed such leeway. And to make matters worse….patronage is alive and well, and they endorse other toffs..…
That’s right. That BBC article claims the Palace endorsed David Cameron. And we’re all laughing our way to the foodbank.
Thought ALL PILOTS in RAF were supposed to have perfect vision ?
4) Do you like rich lazy people who can never ever lose their job ?
When the royals turn up to open some NHS hospital they’ll never attend, the BBC, the papers and the monarchists bore on about how amazingly hardworking they are ( yeah, forget the nurses / firemen etc, praise the toffs). But think about it – typically, a royal engagement takes about 45 minutes. They Rolls Royce up, they are fawned over, they shake hands, they look bored. Then, they are whisked off again. That, is what the royal press calls ‘hard work’. They can sometimes manage 2 or 3 of these dullard appointments a day, and therefore at the end of the year proclaim how many Engagements they took on.
Prince William – after leaving the RAF ( early, costing taxpayer money)
worked only the equivalent of 46 days in a year. This was only revealed due to excellent work by Republic ( join here ). Poor William, his hard graft included two trips to the cinema, 14 to a show, sports event or theme park, 21 parties, 10 a dinners, 2 Church services. My heart bleeds….
Back breaking toil in the Cinema
Nice work if you can get it. ( But you can’t. Unless you emerge from a magic Windsor vagina.)
On the other hand when they sit on their arse being tended to by a litany of butlers and servants, nobody complains. Or reports.
5) Do you think rich aristocrats should be allowed to abuse public funds ?
Most of these stories are hidden now due to the scandalous lack of accountability around the royal family, but there’s still plenty of evidence. Princess Anne used (funded) Queen’s helicopter cause she didn’t want to miss her beloved horses. You pay for that. The queen tried to use funds earmarked for her poorest citizens to heat her large empty palaces…Prince Andrew even allows his paedo pal to use RAF bases to land his private plane….
OK are we ready ? WHO LOVES THE ROYAL FAMILY ?
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Bueller ? Bueller ?
[ Everyday, the media publish relentless uncritical grovelling nonsense about the Windsors, so, in the interests of balance, please share this article on Facebook and Twitter ]
1) They’re unreformed snobs. You are supposed to sycophantically BOW or CURTSEY when you meet these thick dullards. I mean, c’mon people, show some self respect. Brits strut about claiming they take No-shit from anyone yet grovel and tug their forelock when faced with Prince Andrew’s beefy visage ? If your inner serf can’t help it and you do want to bow – be consistent, and bow to every posh rich aristocrat you meet. If you can’t grovel in person, and you want to write to the queen – the official website recommends you sign off with ‘I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty’s humble and obedient servant’.
Wiggo shows what a Rebel He Is, by, er…kneeling and bowing at the Establishment Petting Zoo
2) They’re EXPENSIVE and our funds are used to keep them in pampered luxury. Of course the BBC will trot out the old Buckingham Palace bollocks about ONLY £36 million a year ( even that – for ONE FAMILY !) equating it with costing a few pennies per ‘umble serf per week. This is deeply disingenuous, but of course, they face no scrutiny. Other European monarchy’s cost much less. Republic ( yes, you should join ) estimate that the true cost to taxpayer- including security, and royal visits is at least 9 TIMES that at nearly £300m. And for this, they get servants to squeeze toothpaste onto their toothbrush
3) They’re EMBARRASSINGLY CRAP AT THEIR “JOB”. So basically, their job is to nod and smile and be pleasant – how come the queen is such a sour faced trout every-time she appears ? Of course BBC multi-cam directors don’t often cut to her dour dish, but occasionally a revealing shot slips through and she often looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp. I mean, fair enough, if I was watching a sycophantic sex offender singing a crap song, I too might be bored, but Liz, for fucks sake, it’s your job to at least look like you’re enjoying sitting on your arse in the finest seat at your party / the Olympic opening ceremony / new year at the millennium dome. We only catch a glimpse of the Crown Frown inadvertently on live TV spectacles, and the press only print pics of beaming Betty. As for royal diplomacy, well, Charles just compared Putin to Hitler, and if you’re looking at them as role models, then there’s Prince Andrew, who’s repulsive paedophile friend flew a vulnerable teenage girl across the world for a private meeting with Andrew. Crap at events, crap role models. That only leaves waving. They can wave from luxury limos, I’ll give them that.
4) They’re Naff. I mean some tolerate them as – supposedly – They Bring In The Tourists. This is highly dubious in any case, but my point is… just look at them – do you want the UK being defined globally by a sycophantic culture
of deference to some corn-beef cheeked inbred toffs ? Do intelligent England fans not cringe at every international where they got to sing about ‘send her victorious / happy and glorious / long to reign over us’ ? If you’re not cringing already, here’s an American giving the whole thing a kicking….
5) They Cement the 1% – repeat after me – “the thickest, laziest, dumbest royal will be given more influence and respect than the smartest most hardworking person I know…”. You and I can never be royal ( cue ), and They can never be sacked. They are at the top of the class pyramid. They get promoted in the military. They cheat at school. They secretly think people should not try to rise above their station. And sadly, lots of feeble minded forelock tuggers think This Is The Natural Order Of Things. The whole ‘tradition’ argument, their enormous wealth, and the ridiculous idea that we must automatically respect them acts as a useful fig leaf for a society where the richest are not challenged nor asked to redistribute.
6) It’s Cruel – a tiny bit of sympathy for them here – they’re born into a feudal freakshow. That wee baby George has almost no say in his future – his course in life is to be a Windsor. The boy who’s born to be king, is cursed. Any parent ( with the amount of money William & Kate have) worth their salt would up and leave.
7) This photograph
Please share this article were ‘soft monarchists’ can read it. The Windsors get effusive praise almost every day from every newspaper, and nobody makes the argument against their duffness. We need to rattle the golden cages….
Prince Charles. Even saying his name is like a sigh or a roll of the eyes.
A deep depression ( and a weather map )
His full name is Charles Phillip Arthur George Mountbatten Windsor (aka Prince Charles aka The Prince of Wales aka The Duke of Rothesay ) but c’mon folks, get a grip – this is 2015, not 1715. Look beyond the grandiose titles these clowns anoint themselves to remind you that they consider themselves above you. So what do we see ? A morose, dim, arrogant, uncharismatic, meddling ol’ dullard who you wouldn’t want to sit next to at a wedding.
Yeah yeah, poor Charles – I know, yeah yeah, uncaring mother , an aggressive tyrant father ( Jonathan Dimbleby reports that Phil The Greek would ‘seem intent on correcting the Prince but mocking him as well, so that he seemeed to be foolish and tongue tied in front of friends and family…the small boy was frequently reduced to tears ‘ – awww, the role model family ). Bullied at school ( he wrote to the queen to tell her he was getting battered but as is the form for posh people, she ignored him). He meets Diana 13 times then gets married to the teenager sloane.
Being in the monarchy fucks people up and if they weren’t so steeped in it’s stupid upper-class snobby ethos they’d figure that out and waltz away ( see my tender plea to Willz)
But we’re stuck with Charlie Windsor the damaged moany faced Meddler. In British culture there’s always been a weird tradition of indulging and in fact celebrating the eccentricities of the posh.
But, please lets not celebrate a man who….
Despite his privileged education, he has only 2 A-levels ( B in history, C in French, this was good enough to get him into Cambridge, please don’t try this at home kids )… yet happily lectures healthcare professional that coffee enemas can cure cancer ? Eh..actually….no, you’re alright Charles, I’m fine with tea thanks.
My favourite letter about Charles. I wondered who dared to publish such searing truth ? Turns out it was Viz.
Nor has Oul’ Carbuncle Face has no architectural training whatsoever but decrees what architecture should be, abusing his position and promoting the tweeville town Poundsbury…He’s an eager fox hunter and has a werido Haywain vision of the countryside, he once complained that farmers are being treated worse than “blacks or gays”. A couple of years ago one of his Countryside Heroes was a ‘scyther’. Yeah, Chaz – you’re so taking the pulse of country life !
I could go on about this self proclaimed ‘enemy of the enlightenment’ – and the damage he does.
Where does he get the confidence ? Well, surrounded by flunkeys, yes-men and a media who report every Posh-Fud-Has-An-Opinion story as if Moses himself had come back from the palace with tablets of stone. As always with royal bumfawnery – there is no context given – nobody questions whether Prince Charles has any authority or expertise. He’s never interviewed or held to account.
Hilariously, Charles even has the temerity to criticise others for aspiring – those who believe they could be “pop stars, High Court judges, TV presenters or heads of state” without putting in the effort ( putting in the effort means….falling out of a windsor womb). So much for all that Prince’s Trust guff ( do not get ideas above your station young people.)
The most incredible story has been the saga of the Spider Letters.
The palaces rationale for keeping them secret….that they would “seriously damage” Charles role as monarch if they were disclosed is beyond parody. The plebs can’t see his letters to the government because if they plebs saw this buffoon’s attempts to meddle in democracy, they might demand a bit more democracy.
This morning, the supreme court ( were the judges swear allegiance to Charles’s mummy ), ruled that we DO have a right to see Daft Chaz’s “particularly frank” interventions on public policy. It’s an absolute scandal.
Come On Guardian, get them published right now…after all The Sun reported on Wednesday that David Cameron has told Charles that he will attempt to change the law to prevent the letters ever being released.
Get your pitchforks, get your flaming torches, head for the palace…this is going to be fun.
Glasgow Hospital was 
Van Der Post is Prince William’s godfather ). Recently, Charles sympathised with abusive bishop Peter Bell, lamenting the
In fact the only court case where a member of Royal Family was held to account was when Princess Anne’s dog
revoltingsubject 